MENGUTUK - CURSE

All praise is due to Allah. We praise Him, and we seek His aid, we ask for His forgiveness and we repent to Him. We seek Allah's refuge from the evils of ourselves and the evil consequences of our actions.Whomsoever Allah guides, then none can misguide him and whomsoever Allah misguides then none can guide him. I testify that none has the right to be worshipped except Allah Alone, having no partner, and I testify that Muhammad is His slave and His Messenger. May Allah extol and send blessing of peace upon him, upon his true followers and upon all of his Companions.

Baru-baru ini saya terlibat dalam debat yang hebat sampai-sampai lawan bicara saya mengutuk saya karena merasa terzolimi. Permintaan maaf saya diabaikan karena dia tersingung habis-habisan sebaliknya malahan dia berbalik mengutuk yang diucapkan dengan sangat lembut.

Following is the curse which put upon me from a person who has very good manner and language;
“Allah tahu apa yang sebenarnya terjadi dan Allah tahu seberapa besar kecintaanku pada Nya, jadi jika Allah ikut merasakan apa yang aku rasakan, semoga berkah orang yang terdzolimi akan diterima oleh umatNya yang berhak.”

Well, It just happened, BURSTING over the unacceptable kind of wisdom words which not suitable with us sometimes can burn Extreme fury and anger from us. We were in the heat of argue then we lose our temper, it was hard to avoid hurting someone's feeling. I regret for loosing my temper, I knew that Positive and encouraging statements are more helpful in correcting people than hurting their feelings. But it was very hard to do when you argued very hard with someone. It just happened that someone put curse upon me. Astaqfirullahalaziim.

Oh, I seek Allah’s refugee from my consequences of my action. Ya apa boleh buat saya tidak mempunyai kesaktian apa-apa untuk menghadapi kutukan tersebut jadilah saya sepenuhnya bersandar kepada Allah SWT yang menjadi saksi dan hakim peristiwa ini karena Dia yang Maha Mengetahui lagi Maha bijaksana.

Sebenarnya menyedihkan dikutuk sedemikian rupa oleh saudara muslim yang saya kagumi keimanan islamnya. Perbedaan sudut pandang yang sangat tajam soal pengertian ajaran agama yang merujuk kepada masalah yang terjadi memanglah senjata yang mematikan silaturahmi bahkan persaudaraan jika tidak ditemukan kompromi. Bagi yang tidak memahami agama secara mendalam tentu dengan singkat menyimpulkan bahwa agama adalah salah satu sumber kerusuhan dan perpecahan di muka bumi ini.

Kejadian ini mengingatkan kembali peristiwa lama ketika masa anak-anak sampai dewasa di tanah air Indonesia yaitu ketika tetangga meneriaki gangguan anak-anak nakal atau dijalanan ketika orang berselisih paham, teman saya marah kepada teman yang lain, di serobot jatahnya, ditolak cinta dan sebagainya alasan yang menjengkelkan.
“Gue sumpahin loe disamber petir.” ,
“Gue sumpahin loe masuk neraka”,
“Hoai sialan, mampus loe.”
“Gua sumpahin loe sial tujuh turunan”
dan sebagainya sumpah serapah yang disemburkan dengan penuh kemarahan. Tetapi tidak jarang ketika kemarahannya reda mereka akrab kembali seperti layaknya tidak ada kejadian kebencian yang menyulut semburan sumpah serapah dari mulutnya.

Di media elektronik dan cetak sering kali memuat berita seseorang terkemuka mengutuk kebijakan orang lain atau negara lain yang berseberangan politik dengannya. Tidak jarang para artis yang merasa dirinya di zolimi membayar pengacara untuk mengeksekusi orang yang menzoliminya karena dirasakan kekuatan tangan manusia lebih akurat dan cepat menyelesaikan masalah batin yang tersakiti. Mungkin juga dia juga sudah mengutuk pelaku dengan memohon pertolongan kepada Tuhan yang dia percayai jadi dianggap double-lah hukuman yang diterima sang pelaku. Para aktifis suatu organisasi melakukan demonstrasi mengutuk dan mengajak orang lain ikut serta untuk mengutuk tindakan-tindakan anarkis yang menzolimi kelompok masyarakat tertentu. Luar biasa jika agama dipakai sebagai alat balas dendam benar-benar besar gaungnya.

Cerita mengenai kutukan yang sangat terkenal adalah kisah rakyat dari Sumatera Barat yaitu Malin Kundang si anak durhaka. Saking terkenalnya sampai-sampai menjadi legenda. Cerita ini adalah kisah seorang anak yang durhaka kepada ibu kandungnya sehingga sang ibu memohon kepada Tuhan agar si anak dirubah menjadi batu. Ajaran yang bisa diambil dari kisah ini adalah betapa bahayanya jika kita menelantarkan dan melawan orangtua kita. Disisi lain ditunjukkan betapa berbahayanya sekaligus menyedihkan mengutuk seseorang sebab walaupun permintaannya dikabulkan oleh Tuhan, sang ibu tetap berada dalam kesedihan dan tidak bahagia melihat anaknya berubah menjadi batu.

Masyaallah, kalau dipikir-pikir perbuatan mengutuk sebenarnya perbuatan yang kejam dan mengerikan menurut pendapat saya. sebab akankah pelaku yang memberikan kutukan itu merasa puas dan bahagia jika melihat kemalangan yang menimpa orang yang dikutuknya dan merasa dirinya disayang oleh Sang Pencipta yang Kuasa bahwa keinginannya telah dikabulkan-Nya?
Biasa kita dengar;
“Rasain loe kualat sih sama gue!”
“Sukurin, itulah bayaran dosa-dosa dia selama ini!”

Jika kutukannya tidak dikabulkan bisa ada beberapa kemungkinan yaitu tidak perduli, bertanya-tanya mengapa Tuhan tidak mengabulkannya dan ada pula yang marah dan dendam lalu kecewa kepada Tuhan yang dirasanya tidak adil.

Pertanyaan yang mengganggu saya adalah bagaimana jika seorang muslim mengutuk seseorang lalu ternyata Allah SWT mengabulkannya? Haruskah dia bersyukur atau bertaubat karena telah memberikan bencana kepada hamba Allah yang lain?

Kejadian ini saya sampaikan melalui email kepada salah satu sahabat. Pencerahan beliau mengenai kutukan ini sungguh memesona sebab ini pertama kalinya memahaminya dengan sangat jelas. Ya, dahulu saya tidak perduli ketika mendengar maupun melihat kelakuan orang melakukan sumpah serapah.

Ooh, sungguh cara Allah SWT mengajari saya untuk mengerti dan memahaminya sangat diluar dugaan lantaran yang mengutuk saya adalah sosok muslim yang justru saya cintai dan kagumi keimanan islamnya, Masyaallah alangkah berat konsekwensinya mengutuk seseorang karena tidak hanya tali silaturahmi yang dipertaruhkan tetapi juga patah hati dan kepercayaan kepada seseorang.

Q : Assalamualaykum Sister when someone (muslim) cursed me what should I do?
A: Astaqfirullahalaziim Why do people curse others where as they can still pray for their Hadayat? You just pray and forgiveness because Allah SWT is definitely the One and Only who can cure us. My dear sister, you have to understand that:

1. A Muslim Cursing Another Muslim

Muslims should neither curse nor imprecate each other with words such as, ‘May the Curse of Allah be upon you,’ or ‘I wish you to burn in Hell-fire,’ etc.Narrated Samurah Ibn Jundub (radhi allahu anhu), ‘Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, ‘Do not curse one another, invoking curse of Allah or Wrath of Allah or the fire of Hell.’ [Abu Dawood, at-Tirmidhee]
To curse a Muslim is akin/alike to killing him. Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, ‘Cursing a believer is like murdering him.’ [Agreed upon]. The act of cursing is such that one who does it can himself become a recipient of it.

Narrated Abu Darda (radhi allahu anhu), ‘Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, ‘When a person curses (La’nah; to ask that something be deprived of Allah’s Mercy) somebody or something, the curse goes up to the heaven and the gates of the heaven are closed. Then it comes down to the earth and its gates are closed. Then it turns right and left, and if it does not find an entrance to go anywhere, it returns to the person or thing that was cursed, if he or it deserves to be cursed; otherwise, it returns to the person, who uttered it.’ [Abu Dawood] Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) also warned, ‘Those who frequently resort to cursing would neither be accepted as witnesses nor as intercessors on the Day of Resurrection.’ [Saheeh Muslim]

It is not allowed to curse, disgrace or humiliate even a sinner because in doing so, one helps the Shaytan, who is avowed to disgrace and humiliate Muslims before Allah. Narrated Abu Hurayrah (radhi allahu anhu), ‘A drunkard was brought to the Prophet (Sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam). He (Rasulullah sallahu alaihi wassalam) said, ‘Give him a beating.’ Then some beat him with their hands, some with their shoes, and some with (a folded) piece of cloth. When he left, someone said to him, ‘May Allah disgrace you!‘ The Prophet (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, ‘Do not help Shaytan overcome him by uttering such words.’ [Saheeh al-Bukharee]

Moreover, it is incorrect to curse a sinner because perhaps, the person may have sought Istagfar (seek forgiveness for one’s sins) and Allah, the All-Forgiving, may have forgiven the person for his transgression. It is related in Saheeh Muslim that during the time of Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam), when a woman was being punished for the sin of adultery, her blood spurted upon Khalid Ibn Waleed (radhi allahu anhu), who swore at her. Thereupon, the Prophet (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, ‘Khalid, be gentle. By Him, in Whose Hand is my life, she has made such a repentance that even if a wrongful tax collector were to repent, he would have been forgiven.’ He (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) then prayed over her and she was buried. Therefore, the right conduct would be to pray for his or her guidance and refrain from any critique, cursing or humiliation.

Even the deceased Muslims should not be censured or condemned for their wrongdoings, for, they have reached their end and they are receiving the return of their deeds in the Hereafter. Aa’isha (radhi allahu anha) narrated, ‘The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, ‘Do not abuse the dead, because they have attained that which they had forwarded (i.e., their deeds, good or bad).’ [Saheeh al-Bukharee]

Quoted from : http://learndeen.wordpress.com/2007/07/23/cursing-is-prohibited/

(which was taken from As-Sunnah Newsletter)

2. Parents Cursing Their Child/Children
When a person (we are talking about Muslims here) making a dua (supplication) to Allah, that supplication may be answered by Allah immediately or it may not.
Allah will answer the supplication of parents, as stated by Abu Hurayrah (radiallahuanhu), that the Prophet (Sallahualaihi wassalam) said "Three supplications are sure to be answered: that of the oppressed, that of the traveller, and that of the parents who curse their children {for their negligence}". -Bukhari-.

The word "for their negligence" here means that the parents were suffered because of their child/children. They did zhalim to their parents, neglecting them, not fulfilling their duties towards their parents. Allah answer the dua of good parents, who did their best in fulfilling their parental obligations according to Islam, yet their children return their love and kindness with defiance, making them suffered, and so on. When a person made his/her parents angry, he/she also had made Allah angry.
So children should always obey their parents (as long as the parents are not telling them to do what Allah prohibits, e.g disobeying Allah). In Islam, each parents and children has their obligations towards one another and they must fulfill them. For further explanation regarding duties and abligations of parents and child,

I recommend you..Insha Allah. you should go read books on this topic e.g. you can go to this link:
http://books.google.com.au/books?id=Q9E4egv4lKEC&pg=PA16&lpg=PA16&dq=the+curse+of+parents+upon+their+children+in+islam&source=bl&ots=xxJptygBuK&sig=GX3S6vwKJJvvChha11gmh9DDnSU&hl=en&ei=12m5SYKhKoSq6gOP6oHnBA&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=2&ct=result#PPA18,M1. It is an e-book called "Moral Teachings of Islam" by Imam al-Bukhari.

It's a very good book to read.

Abu Bakrah related the following:
The Messenger of Allah (sallahualaihi wassalam) said three times: "Shall I tell you which are the gravest sins?". The Companions said: " Yes, O Messenger of Allah". He (sallahualaihi wassalam) then said: "Setting anyone up as the equal of Allah, and disobedience towards parents". He (sallahualaihi wassalam) was standing (as he said this), then he sat down and said: "And telling lies". He repeated over and over until I said to myself I wish he would stop. -Bukhari-.

3. Forgiving Others for Their Mistakes
Just as it is important to believe in the mercy and forgiveness of Allah, it is also necessary to base human relations on forgiveness. We cannot expect Allah’s forgiveness unless we also forgive those who do wrong to us. Forgiving each other, even forgiving one’s enemies is one of the most important Islamic teachings. In the Qur’an Allah has described the Believers as “those who avoid major sins and acts of indecencies and when they are angry they forgive.” (ash-Shura 42: 37).

Later in the same Surah Allah says, “The reward of the evil is the evil thereof, but whosoever forgives and makes amends, his reward is upon Allah.” (al-Shura 42: 40). In another place the Qur’an says, “If you punish, then punish with the like of that wherewith you were afflicted. But if you endure patiently, indeed it is better for the patient. Endure you patiently. Your patience is not except through the help of Allah.” (an-Nahl:126-127) In one Hadith, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said that Allah has commanded him about nine things; one of them he mentioned was “that I forgive those who do wrong to me.”

Allah's Forgiveness
Allah Almighty is the Oft-Forgiving. There are many Names of Allah given in the Qur’an. Some of these Names are related to His mercy and forgiveness. Let me mention some of these names: 1-Al-Ghafoor (The Oft-Forgiving): This name occurs in the Qur’an more than seventy times. There are other names from the same root, such as Ghafir and Ghaffar. The meaning of the Arabic word “ghafara” is to cover, to hide and from it comes the meaning “to excuse”, “to pardon”, “to remit” and “to forgive”. Allah Almighty does all these things.

In the Qur’an, it is mentioned that Allah does not forgive the Shirk (without repentance) but He may forgive every other sin for whomsoever He wills. (al-Nisa’ 4:116) We must turn to Allah to seek His forgiveness. 2-Al-`Afuw (The Pardoning): This has another aspect of forgiveness. This Name occurs in the Qur’an five times. Literally the Arabic word `Afw means “to release”, “to heal”, “to restore”, “to remit”. Thus in relation to Allah it means “to release us from the burden of punishment due to our sins and mistakes”, “to restore our honor after we have dishonored ourselves by committing sins and making mistakes.” Sometimes in the Qur’an both names: `Afuw and Ghafoor come together. 3-Al-Tawwab (The Acceptor of repentance): This Name of Allah is mentioned in the Qur’an about 11 times. Allah accepts the repentance of those who sincerely repent and turn to him. The Arabic word “tawwab” gives the sense of “oft-returning” which means that Allah again and again accepts the repentance.

We make sins and mistakes then we repent, He accepts our repentance. Then again we commit sins and make mistakes and when we repent, He again very kindly accepts us and gives us another chance. 4-Al-Haleem (The Clement): This Name is mentioned fifteen times in the Qur’an, and it means that Allah Almighty is not quick to judgment. He gives time.

He forebears and is patient to see His servant returning to Him. 5-Ar-Rahman and ar-Raheem (Most Gracious and Most Merciful). These Names are the most frequent in the Qur’an. Ar-Rahman is mentioned 57 times and ar-Raheem is mentioned 115 times. Ar-Rahman indicates that Allah’s grace is abundant and plenty and al-Raheem indicates that this is always the case with Allah. He is full of love and mercy and He is ever Merciful.

The Qur’an teaches that Allah is a Judge and He also punishes, but Allah is not bound to punish. The justice of Allah, according to Qur’an is that Allah does not and will not inflict undue punishment on any person. He will not ignore the good of any person. But if He wishes to forgive any sinner, He has full freedom to do that. His mercy is unlimited and His love is infinite. There are many verses in the Qur’an and Hadiths of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, on the love, mercy and forgiveness of Allah.
In one of the prayers that the Prophet taught, he said, “O Allah, You are Most Forgiving One, You love to forgive, so forgive me.” (reported by at-Trimidhi and Ibn Majah). We need Allah’s mercy and forgiveness all the time. It is wrong to assume at any time that one will find eternal salvation without the forgiveness of Allah.

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503544718

Prophet's sayings - on Mercy
ALLAH’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said:
“He who is not merciful to others, will not be treated mercifully."
Source: Al-Bukhari (8/73, no. 42)

ALLAH’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said:
“Allah will not be merciful to those who are not merciful to mankind."