omaheleyla

My way

2011-09-26T14:40:00.001+10:00

leylasplace

Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can becomeyour blessings.

After counting your blessings, you'll realize how valuable youare and how much you have going for you.

The smiles will return, the sun willbreak out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forwardthe life that God intended for you with grace, strength, courage, andconfidence-Always in Khusnuzzon

How to love God

2011-09-26T14:25:00.001+10:00

If we cannot love the person whom we see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?
quote- mother Teresa
Jika kita tidak bisa mengasihi orang yang kita bisa lihat, bagaiman kita bisa mengasihi Tuhan, yang tidak bisa kita lihat?

Unlawful desires are usually associated with ugliness

2011-03-13T22:16:00.000+10:00

leylasplace

[Taken from ‘al-Fawâ’id’ of Ibn al-Qayyim]

'"Unlawful desires are usually associated with ugliness. They leave behind a lingering sensation of pain and guilt.

Hence, whenever you are tempted, think about liberating yourself. Think about all the remorse that would accompany the realization of those desires, and then make up your mind. Struggling your way through obedience is not an easy task. It is, however, associated with goodness and soothing pleasures. Whenever you overburden yourself (with unlawful desires) think about how nice it would be to repent and set yourself free. Think about the pleasures that lawful desires will provide and try to make the correct choice. The dilemma you will experience should be reduced by remembering the sweet pleasure and the ultimate happiness that your obedience (to Allah) will provide. Also make your struggle less of one by picturing the punishment that follows disobedience to Allah.

Logically, your mind should opt for the more rewarding option and help you to endure the pain of denying yourself the realization of such desires.”

10 useless matters

2011-03-12T14:34:00.000+10:00

leylasplace

by Al-Fawa’id (from Shahih Khan’s notes)

1. Knowledge that is not acted on.

2. The deed that has neither sincerity nor is based on following the righteous examples of others.

3. Money that is hoarded, as the owner neither enjoys it during this life nor obtains any reward for it in the Hereafter.

4. The heart that is empty of love and longing for Allah, and of seeking closeness to Him.

5. A body that does not obey and serve Allah.

6. Loving Allah without following His orders or seeking His pleasure.

7. Time that is not spent in expiating sins or seizing opportunities to do good.

8. A mind that thinks about useless matters.

9. Serving those who do not bring you close to Allah, nor benefit you in your life.

10. Hoping and fearing whoever is under the authority of Allah and in His Hand; while he cannot bring any benefit or harm to himself, nor death, nor life; nor can he resurrect himself.

leylasplace

However, the greater of these matters are wasting the heart and wasting time. Wasting the heart is done by preferring this worldly life over the Hereafter, and wasting time is done by having incessant hope. Destruction occurs by following one’s desires and having incessant hope, while all goodness is found in following the right path and preparing oneself to meet Allah.

leylasplace

How strange it is that when a servant of Allah has a (worldly) problem, he seeks help of Allah, but he never asks Allah to cure his heart before it dies of ignorance, neglect, fulfilling one’s desires and being involved in innovations. Indeed, when the heart dies, he will never feel the significance or impact of his sins.

Bagaimanakah ibadah itu?

2011-03-12T11:45:00.000+10:00

leylasplace

Ibadah itu meliputi hati dan akal, meliputi gerak bathin dan jasad, meliputi mind, soul, heart and body become one.

Tidak bisa ibadah kalau kita tidak cinta dan rindu pada Allah SWT dan kekasih-NYA Muhammad SAW.

Ibadah gerak tanpa ruh hambar

Ibadah bathin tanpa diiringi gerak jasad juga munafik,

Jadi keduanya harus satu tak terpisah…

pepey

Iklas dan Redho atas musibah dan tundukkanlah egomu

2011-03-12T11:16:00.000+10:00

leylasplace

Surat sahabat

Assalamualaykum

Sahabatku terkasih, Janganlah minta akherat,tetapi mintalah bertemu dengan Nya. Akherat adalah mahluknya, ciptaannNya. Masuk syurga atau neraka bukan karena banyak atau sedikitnya amal ibadah kita tapi tak lebih karena kasih sayangNya bagi mereka yg dipilihNya. Terimalah apapun yg dipilihkanNya untuk kita meski terasa pahit.

Sesungguhnya ilmu kita terbatas bahkan tentang diri kita sendiri. DIA lebih tahu , jadi apa yg bisa kita perbuat dan apa yg bisa kita miliki? Sedanglan napas kita saja bukan milik kita. Yakinlah apapun yang kita lakukan adalah dengan ijinNYA, terimalah dengan rasa syukur apapun ketentuanNYA.

Kita memang tidak pernah bisa memahami caraNYA dalam mencintai kita, tetapi DIA sangat mencintai kita.

Kita berbuat amal semata-mata karena kita berharap cintaNYA, janganlah pikirkan pahala, itu konsekwensi logis dari sebuah perbuatan baik, tapi kita beribadah dan berbuat karena kita tahu DIA senang bila kita melakukan sesuatu yang kita lakukan. Jadi karena kita rindu padaNYA, rindu pada tatapan kasih sayangNYA, pada cintaNYA.

Jadi semua akan terasa indah untuk jiwa kita.

Bacalah surah Qasas (28) ayat 68-70 agar jiwamu tenang.

[68] Dan Tuhanmu menciptakan apa yang Dia kehendaki dan memilihnya. Sekali-kali tidak ada pilihan bagi mereka. Maha Suci Allah dan Maha Tinggi dari apa yang mereka persekutukan (dengan Dia).

[69] Dan Tuhanmu mengetahui apa yang disembunyikan (dalam) dada mereka dan apa yang mereka nyatakan.

[70] Dan DIAlah Allah, tidak ada Tuhan yang berhak disembah selain DIA, Segala puji bagi-Nya di dunia dan akherat, dan bagi-NYA segala penentuan dan kepada-NYA kamu dikembalikan

68] Thy Lord does create and choose as He pleases: no choice have they (in the matter): glory to Allah! And far is He above the partners they ascribe (to Him)!

[69] And thy Lord knows all that their hearts conceal and all that they reveal.

[70] And HE is GOD: there is no god but HE. To HIM be praise, at the first and at the last: for HIM is the Command, and to HIM you be brought back.

Salam

Pepey

leylasplace

BISMILLAHIRAHMANIRAHIM

Aku adalah milik Allah. Dan sesungguhnya aku akan kembali kepadaNya.

Ya Allah dihadapanMU lah aku memperhitungkan musibahku, maka dari itu berilah aku pahala karena musibahku tadi dan berilah sesuatu yang lebih baik sebagai gantinya. Angkatlah beban-beban hidupku dan gantilah dengan perasaan bersyukur yang tiada habisnya.

Ya Allah aku mohon kepadaMu hal-hal yang menyebabkan rahmatMU dari yang memantapkan hati untuk memperoleh ampunanMu dan aku bermohon pula untuk memperoleh seluruh kebaikan serta selamat dari melakukan seluruh dosa. Janganlah hendaknya Engkau meninggalkan dosa kepadaku melainkan Engkau mengampuninya, dan meninggalkan kesudahan melainkan Engkau melapangkannya, serta hajat yang Engkau redhoi yang tiada Engkau kabulkan wahai Allah yang Maha Pengasih dan Penyayang.

Ya Allah hindarkan aku dari kebencian dan perbuatan aniaya kepada mereka yang membuatku terhalang dari rahmatMu.

Ya Allah ridhokan aku atas segala ketentuanMu serta sabarkan aku atas segala cobaanMu dan berikan aku kesehatan serta ketetapan hati untuk selalu berjalan dijalanMu yang lurus. KepadaMu aku berserah diri.

Ya Allah, Engkaulah yang aku maksud dan ridhoMu yang aku cari. Berilah kemampuan untuk bisa mencintaiMu dan makrifat kepadaMu. Sempurnakanlah imanku.

Amin

Uun

12092010

KISAH SEORANG PENDOA

2011-03-06T16:04:00.000+10:00

leylasplace

Terjemahan bebas dari History of Prayer.

Ketika ku mohonkan kepada Allah kekuatan,
Allah memberiku kesulitan agar aku menjadi kuat.
Ketika kumohon kepada Allah kebijaksanaan,
Allah memberiku masalah untuk dipecahkan.
Ketika kumohon kepada Allah kesejahteraan,
Allah memberiku akal untuk berfikir.
Ketika kumohon kepada Allah keberanian,
Allah memberiku kondisi bahaya untuk kuatasi.
Ketika kumohon kepada Allah sebuah cinta,
Allah memberiku orang-orang bermasalah untuk ku tolong.
Ketika kumohon kepada Allah bantuan,
Allah memberiku kesempatan.
leylasplace
Aku tak pernah memerima yang kupinta, tetapi aku menerima segala sesuatu yang ku butuhkan.
Doaku terjawab sudah.

ANTARA KAU DAN SANG PENCIPTA

2011-03-06T10:49:00.001+10:00

leylasplace

By anonymous

Orang sering sulit dimengerti, tidak berpikir panjang dan selalu memikirkan diri sendiri. Namun demikian ampunilan mereka.

Bila kamu baik hati orang mungkin menuduhmu ada maunya, namun demikian tetaplah berbuat baik.

Bila kamu sukses, kamu akan menemui teman-teman yang tidak bersahabat dan musuh-musuh bermunculan. Namun demikian teruskan kesuksesan itu.

Bila kamu jujur dan tulus hati, orang mungkin akan menipumu atau memperalatmu. Namun demikian tetaplah jujur dan tulus hati.

leylasplace
Hasil karyamu bertahun-tahun mungkin dapat dihancurkan orang dalam sehari. Namun demikian tetaplah berkarya.

Bila kamu menemukan ketenangan dan kebahagiaan mungkin ada yang iri dan tega menfitnahmu. Namun demikian syukurilah kebahagiaanmu.

Kebaikanmu akan mudah dilupakan orang. Namun demikian tetaplah berbuat baik.

Memberikan yang terbaik dari dirimu tidak akan pernah memuaskan orang lain. Namun demikian tetaplah memberikan yang terbaik.

Karena; pada akhirnya semua adalah antara kamu dengan Allah bukan antara kamu dengan mereka

DARE TO LET GO “BERANI MELEPASKAN”

2011-03-06T10:18:00.001+10:00

leylasplace

Ada hal-hal yang tidak ingin kita lepaskan, orang-orang yang tidak ingin kita tinggalkan tetapi,

Ada saatnya dimana kita harus berhenti mencintai seseorang bukan karena orang itu berhenti mencintai kita melainkan karena kita menyadari bahwa orang itu akan lebih bahagia apabila kita melepaskannya.

Kita tidak ingin melepaskan seseorang ketika kebahagian kita sangat bergantung pada orang itu.

leylasplace

Kita tidak ingin melepaskan seseorang ketika merasa ia itu teristimewa dibandingkan orang lain

Kita tidak ingin melepaskan seseorang karena takut tidak dapat menemukan sosok seperti dia.

Kita tidak ingin melepaskan seseorang ketika begitu banyak saat-saat indah senantiasa terbayang di benak kita.

Kita tidak ingin melepaskan seseorang ketika hati kita berkata

“Saya sangat mencintainya”

leylasplace

Kita harus melepaskan seseorang karena kita menyadari bahwa yang teristimewa dari dirinya belum tentu yang terbaik bagi kita.

Kita harus melepaskan seseorang karena kita tahu jika Allah mengambil sesuatu dari kita, Ia telah memberi yang lebih baik.

Kita harus melepaskan seseorang ketika saat-saat indah hanyalah tinggal masa lalu.

Kita harus melepaskan seseorang karena akal dan hati kita berkata “tidak ada lagi yang dapat dipertahankan.”

leylasplace

Kehilangan tidak berarti anda tidak mencapai apa-apa namun anda telah memahami sesuatu. Melepaskan seseorang yang kita cintai bukanlah akhir dari dunia melainkan awal suatu kehidupan baru.

Segala sesuatu ada waktunya, ada saatnya dipertahankan, ada saatnya dilepaskan.

By anonymous

Earn with your Hands

2011-03-06T09:34:00.001+10:00

leylasplace

Sources: ProductiveMuslim.com

The Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said, “It is better for anyone of you to take a rope (and cut) and bring a bundle of wood (from the forest) over his back and sell it and Allah will save his face (from the Hell-Fire) because of that, rather than to ask the people who may give him or not.” (Sahih Bukhari, Book #24, Hadith #550)

And here’s a little secret of success: those who are not afraid to work, not embarrassed to do the small jobs, they are the ones who will reach success and end up doing big jobs later on. This is because these people develop a unique work ethic that doesn’t look at a job whether “it’s my standard or not” but how he/she can contribute to it.

In another hadeeth, the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said, “Nobody has ever eaten a better meal than that which one has earned by working with one’s own hands. The Prophet of Allah, David used to eat from the earnings of his manual labor.” (Sahih Bukhari, Book #34, Hadith #286).

So as long as the job and earnings are permissible and do not comprise your deen, don’t sit idle blaming the “job market” or the “economy” for your lack of action.

50 things to know about marriage

2010-10-13T13:14:00.000+10:00

Excerpt from ‘Fiqh of Love’ seminar by Al-Maghrib Institute

1. Great relationships don’t just happen; they are created. You have to work at it. Any good relationship takes an investment of time, effort, and emotional energy

2. If your job takes all of your best energy, your marriage will suffer.

3. One of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse is your own happiness.

4. It is possible to love and hate someone at the same time.

5. When you complain about your spouse to your friends (which you shouldn’t), remember that their feedback can be distorted.

6. The only rules in your marriage are those you both choose to agree with.

7. It is not conflict that destroys marriage; it is the cold, smoldering resentment that you hold for a long time.

8. It’s not what you’ve got, it’s what you do with what you have.

9. If you think you are too good for your spouse, think again.

10. Growing up in a happy household doesn’t ensure a happy marriage, or vice versa.

11. It’s never too late to repair damaged trust.

12. The real issue is usually not the one you are arguing about.

13. Love isn’t just a feeling; it is expressed through our actions.

14. Expectations set us up for disappointment and resentment.

15. Arguments cannot be avoided, but destructive arguments can be avoided.

16. One of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse is focused attention.

17. Even people with happy marriages sometimes worry that they married the wrong person.

18. Your spouse cannot rescue you from unhappiness, but they can help you rescue yourself.

19. The cost of a lie is far greater than any advantage you gain from speaking it.

20. Your opinion is not necessarily the truth.

21. Trust takes years to establish and moments to destroy.

22. Guilt-tripping won’t get you what you really want.

23. Don’t neglect your friends.

24. If you think, “You are not the person I married,” you are probably right.

25. Resisting the temptation to prove your point will win you a lot of points.

26. Generosity of spirit is the foundation of a good marriage.

27. If your spouse is being defensive, you might be giving them reasons to be like that.

28. Marriage isn’t 50/50; it’s 100/100.

29. You can pay now or pay later, but the later you pay, the more interest and penalties you acquire.

30. Marriage requires sacrifice, but your benefits outweigh your costs.

31. Forgiveness isn’t a one-time event; it’s a continuous process.

32. Accepting the challenges of marriage will shape you into a better person.

33. Creating a marriage is like launching a rocket: once it clears the pull of gravity, it takes much less energy to sustain the flight.

34. A successful marriage has more to do with how you deal with your current reality than with what you’ve experienced in the past.

35. Don’t keep feelings of gratitude to yourself.

36. There is no greater eloquence than the silence of real listening.

37. One of the greatest questions to ask your spouse is “How best can I love you?”

38. Marriage can stay fresh over time.

39. Assumptions are fine as long as you check them before acting upon them.

40. Intention may not be the only thing, but it is the most important thing.

41. Good sex won’t make your marriage, but it’ll help.

42. Privacy won’t hurt your marriage, but secrecy will.

43. Possessiveness and jealousy are born out of fear, not love.

44. Authenticity is contagious and habit-forming.

45. If your spouse thinks something is important, then it is.

46. Marriage never outgrows the need for romance.

47. The sparkle of a new relationship is always temporary.

48. There is violence in silence when it’s used as a weapon.

49. It’s better to focus on what you can do to make things right, then what your partner did to make things wrong.

50. If you think marriage counseling is too expensive, try divorce.

SIAPAKAH PENIPU ALLAH ?

2010-10-13T03:25:00.000+10:00

Surah Al Baqarah 2: 8-20. Menjelaskan tentang orang-orang munafik dan prilakunya. Dalam untaian ayat-ayat tersebut dinyatakan bahwa keimanan orang munafik hanya sebatas lidah saja. Bahkan lebih jauh lagi Allah menyatakan :

“Mereka itu tuli, bisu dan mereka itu buta, sehingga mereka tidak dapat kembali” (QS Al Baqarah 2:18)

mereka inilah orang-orang yang merasa telah beriman namun hakikatnya belum beriman. Mereka menebar pesona dalam berbicara santun dan berkesan alim padahal hatinya kosong tanpa kekuatan iman. Orang munafik adalah bukan mereka yang tuli, bisu dan buta panca indranya melainkan mereka yang tuli, bisu dan buta hatinya. Itulah sebabnya mengapa Allah SWT menyatakan mereka sebagai “Penipu Allah.”

Disarikan dari buku “Lautan tak Bertepi.”- kajian pembuka hati- K.H.M.A. Gaos Saefulloh Maslul

DIMANAKAH ALLAH BERADA?

2010-10-13T03:21:00.000+10:00

Suatu ketika Rasulullahisalaam ditanya “ Dimanakah Alloh berada, di bumi atau di langit?”.

Rasulullahisalaam menjawab “ Di hati orang mukmin.”

Hal ini dipertegas lagi dalam hadis Qudsi, Alloh berfirman “ BumiKU tak sanggup memuat Dzat-KU begitu juga langit-KU, yang dapat memuat-KU adalah hati hambaKU yang beriman, lunak dan tenang.”

APAKAH DOSA ITU?

2010-10-13T03:12:00.000+10:00

Suatu ketika Rasulullahisalaam ditanya “Apakah dosa itu?”

Beliau menjawab “Dosa adalah segala perbuatan/ pekerjaan yang engkau malu apabila melakukannya secara terang-terangan.”.

Suatu kali ada yang bertanya lagi, beliau menjawab “ Adalah sesuatu yang menggusarkan hatimu”. Tetapi orang yang hatinya sudah terbiasa melakukan dosa, tidak lagi merasa risih, gusar dan merasa bersalah bila melakukan tindakan kejahatan, zalim, zina, maksiat dan segala hal perbuatan buruk. Ada kesan bahwa kesalahan ini menjadi tradisi sehari-hari yang dapat dimaklumi. Dengan kata lain, apabila orang berhati gelap gulita melakukan perbuatan tidak baik, ia merasa perbuatannya itu lumrah-lumrah saja, seperti yang biasa dilakukan siapa saja.

Kenapa malu? Orang lain juga melakukannya kok

Kenapa musti dihindari? Toh hal itu sudah menjadi budaya atau perbuatan yang dimaklumi masyarakat.

(begitulah apa yang ada dibenaknya).

Janganlah pernah meminta nasehat kepada seseorang yang memiliki kepribadian seperti demikian atau seseorang itu gemar melakukan perbuatan-perbuatan terlarang itu. Sebab terhadap dirinya sendiri saja tidak mampu menasehati apalagi kepada orang lain. Orang demikian akan selalu hidup dalam kegelapan tanpa lampu penerangan. Hidayah Allah pasti terpental, tidak dapat menembus hati yang demikian itu.”

Hati yang seperti itu digambarkan dalam Al-Quran.

(QS Al Baqarah 2:74), “ Kemudian setelah hati mu menjadi keras seperti batu bahkan lebih keras lagi.”

(QS AN Nur 24:40), Atau bagai gelap gulita di lautan kelam, yang diliputi oleh ombak, diatasnya lagi mendung menggumpal. Gelap bertumpang tindih dengan gelap. Jika diulurkan tangannya, nyaris tak mampu melihatnya sendiri. Barang siapa yang Alloh tidak menjadikannya cahaya untuknya, tidaklah ia mendapatkan cahaya sedikitpun.”

(QS Al Hajj 22:46) “ ….karena sesungguhnya bukanlah mata itu yang buta, tetapi yang buta ialah hati yang dalam dada.”

*dikutip dari “ Lautan Tanpa Tepi”- kajian pembuka hati by K.H.M.A. Gaos Saefulloh Maslul;

EMOTIONAL CHEATING

2010-10-13T02:59:00.001+10:00

by Gail Saltz

Gail Saltz is a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at New York Presbyterian Hospital.

Flirtatious e-mails, cell phone heart to hearts. Perfectly harmless working lunches. It is new kind of adultery. There’s no sex but psychiatrist GAIL SALTZ knows trouble when she sees it.

A client I’ll call Sharon knew that something was missing in her marriage. She and Robert used o be passionate about each other, she said, but after 12 years, she felt removed. Robert never asked her about work or what she was worried about or felt like doing. She was no longer attracted to him, and they are rarely spent time alone together. Instead, she threw her energy into raising the children and her job as paralegal. Life had become bland.

Then there was Todd. He had been at the law firm longer rather than Sharon and showed her the ropes. They would discuss complicated cases, and Sharon found his enthusiasm engaging. They’d grab coffee together, and soon coffee became lunch, and lunch led to phone calls and e-mails as their conversations went from professional to deeply personal.

Sharon thought about Todd all the time, and told me she hadn’t felt this alive since she and Robert had started dating. While she recognized a crush- her excitement about seeing him, her pleasure in his jokes, her relief in confiding in someone who got her – she told herself there was nothing wrong with what she was doing because they weren’t having sex.

Robert, however, started to notice his wife’s coming home later. She was on her cell phone a lot on the weekends, and when he asked who she was talking to, she became evasive. At one point, he complained that they never had sex anymore, that he felt lonely in the marriage, and that he wondered if there was someone else.

Sharon assured Robert – and herself – that she wasn’t having an affair. While she felt a little guilty, the thought of giving up Todd, the way he made her feel beautiful and funny and fantastic, was unbearable.

EMOTIONAL CHEATING steers clear of physical intimacy, but it does involve secrecy, deception, and therefore betrayal. People enmeshed in nonsexual affairs preserve their “DENIABILITY” convincing themselves they don’t have to change anything. That’s where they’re wrong.

If you think about it, it’s the breach of trust, more than sex, that’s the most painful aspect of an affair and, I can tell you from my work as a psychiatrist, the most difficult to recover from.

Few people go looking for an extramarital entanglement. But like Sharon, they might hit a patch where their relationship isn’t fun anymore, and they feel isolated and frustrated. Rather than making a collaborative effort with their partner – and perhaps couples therapist – to improve it, women in particular often accept that “this just the way the marriage is”.

So while they aren’t consciously in the market, they are ripe for an affair of the heart: hungry for attention, craving excitement, and eager for someone to fill the emptiness they feel inside.

Sharon came to depend on Todd for emotional highs. The flirting, the accolades, the sympathetic ear all made her feel special. She escaped into this new involvement in a scenario that’s increasingly common. Though emotional affairs have always been around. I am seeing more of them among my clients than ever before. We have all grown so used to watching, reading, and hearing sexually suggestive material that there’s no longer an obvious verbal or physical line we think we’re crossing. And the exponential growth of e-mail, instant messaging, and cell phones gives us a wealth of private ways to connect. It’s snap to Google an old flame: What would have been idle fantasy a decade ago can, with the click of a mouse, grow into emotional or sexual infidelity.

We all know men and women who really are “JUST FRIENDS” and there’s usually some romantic frisson, even if neither party admits it. But a healthy male – female friendship isn’t clandestine.

Once a man and woman avoid telling their partners how much time they’re spending on the friendship, make sure they look great anytime they’re going to be together, or confide more each other, including marital dissatisfactions, than in their spouses, they’re involved in an emotional affair.

Often I’m told of a friendship that hasn’t gone that far …yet. But if the possibilities are tempting, I believe that’s the moment to look more closely at the marriage. What is each spouse missing that he or she needs? My prescription is for them to ask directly and answer frankly, because from everything I’ve seen, when a couple can’t express their feelings, concerns, and dreams, they’re both at risk for betrayal. I frequently talk to couples in this vulnerable state, not only about how to reclaim closeness but also how to protect their relationship from third parties. Even when a marriage can’t be salvaged, I’d rather see it end amicably before either person starts up with someone new. Three habits strike me as playing with fire:

1) Flirting with others, which can become too intoxicating to give up.

2) Innocently spending time alone with old lovers and

3) Hanging out with emotional cheaters who make what they’re doing seem like no big deal.

Increasingly, I find people are already enmeshed in an affair of the heart by the time they contact me, and they are terribly torn. They have a very hurt spouse but can’t bear to lose their “friend”. Marital implosion is close at hand. My approach seems like tough love, but I’m convinced it saves a lot of grief. The first and most important task, from which all the other things these clients must do will follow, is to take responsibility for the affair – same as if they’d had sexual liaison. Denying it or blaming their partner’s inattentiveness prevents the couple from reengaging. The only cases where it might not be best to fess up are the rare ones where the partner has no suspicions. Revealing hidden feeling just to absolve guilt is not a great idea.

Second, the affair must end. Yes, it hurts. And no, it’s not possible to disengage partway and still be pals. Things get trickier if the infidelity began in the workplace, but all future interaction must be purely professional and kept to an absolute minimum.

Third, I try to help clients unearth the reasons they got overinvolved. Was their marriage failing? Did thy need to build their self-esteem? Were they repeating the pattern of a parent who cheated? To prevent an encore, they must be brutally honest with themselves.

Finally, they have to build back the trust, which is the biggest obstacle to saving the marriage. I’m constantly telling people that it requires a lot of time, openness, and accountability (for example: being clear about whereabouts and coming home right after work).

What I find to be remarkably consistent is that most people don’t appreciate the relationship they do have until they’re about to lose it.

That is what happened with Sharon. When Robert found her e-mail to Todd (“I miss you so much… I can’t wait to see you,” along her complaints about her home life), he was shattered and wanted divorce. As soon as Sharon realized her husband might leave her, Todd didn’t seem quite as thrilling. But saying goodbye to him, which she ultimately decided to do, was wrenching, and Robert isn’t sure whether they can agree to rebuild their relationship.

It’s much more difficult to make your way back from a betrayal of intimate feelings than to try to refresh a marriage that may have become flat and distant. When you ignore anxiety - inducing thoughts like I FEEL STUCK – I WISH I COULD RUN OFF AND HAVE FUN OR I FEEL OLD AND DUMPY – IF ONLY SOMEONE WOULD MAKE ME FEEL YOUNG AND SEXY AGAIN, you cannot examine or deal with them in productive manner. Instead, you unwittingly act them out, with potentially devastating results. Any good relationship takes an investment of time, effort, and emotional energy. What few people want to accept is that we can all become Sharon and Robert, and that marriage, while potentially tremendously gratifying, is always a work in progress

(Copied from O magazine- May 2006)

Hati-hati Selingkuh Hati

2010-10-13T02:43:00.001+10:00

by Nasihul Umam

Berawal dari pertemanan,hubungan dekat dengan lawan jenis amat mungkin berkembang menjadi "TTM" alias Teman Tapi Mesra. Sehari saja berlalu tanpa curhat-curhatan dengan si dia, hidup seolah hambar. Hati-hati, soalnya yang Anda lakukan itu sudah menjurus pada emotional affair atau perselingkuhan emosi yang ternyata lebih berbahaya dan lebih sulit diakhiri dibandingkan affair yang sifatnya fisik.

Terbuai Perhatian Lelaki Lain

Menurut para ahli,perselingkuhan emosi kian sering terjadi akhir-akhir ini. Penyebabnya, kata Steven Stosny, Ph.D., penulis buku How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It, tak lain karena banyak di antara kita yang merasa terisolir secara emosi. "Beban kerja yang terlalu tinggi, rutinitas kelewat padat, atau kebanyakan bergaul di dunia maya,semua itu bisa menciptakan jarak emosi dan merenggangkan kedekatan kita dengan pasangan," ujarnya.

Ketika jarak emosi tercipta, kita tidak lagi merasa nyaman dan terbiasa berbagi cerita dengan pasangan. Pada akhirnya, justru diri kita sendiri yang merasa diabaikan dan tidak dicintai. "Perasaan dicampakkan inilah yang memunculkan bibit perselingkuhan emosi. Sebab pada dasarnya setiap orang butuh memiliki keterikatan secara emosi dengan orang lain," kata Stosny.

Perasaan tidak dicintai ini selanjutnya akan memunculkan ketidakpuasan dan perasaan insecure terhadap kehidupan sendiri,entah itu dalam karier, pencapaian pribadi,dan lain-lain. Jika dalam kondisi batin terluka ini muncul pria lain yang menaruh perhatian besar pada diri kita,jangan heran bila kita akan menyambutnya sepenuh hati," tambah Stosny lagi.

Apa Tanda-tandanya?

Sebelum terlanjur "kebablasan", kenali tanda-tanda Anda telah terjerumus ke dalam perselingkuhan emosi:

* Merasa malu kalau pasangan melihat Anda sedang bersama PIL, meski Anda berdua tidak sedang melakukan apa pun yang mencurigakan.

* Merasa excited dan sibuk merapikan penampilan sebelum bertemu dengan PIL.

* Anda merasa lebih nyaman berbagi cerita tentang banyak hal dengan PIL ketimbang dengan pasangan sendiri.

* Mulai merasakan ketertarikan secara fisik kepadanya, meski Anda berulang kali meyakinkan diri sendiri untuk tidak berbuat terlampau jauh.

Meski berhasil menutup-nutupi tanda-tanda ini dari pasangan, tetapi Anda tetap mesti selalu memasang kuda-kuda, karena affair ini sudah pasti akan menggerogoti hubungan Anda dari dalam. Menurut Gary M. Neuman, penulis buku Emotional Infildelity, "Kian tergantung Anda pada diri pasangan baru, maka Anda akan semakin menarik diri dari pasangan resmi. Lama kelamaan, perasaan bersalah akan menyiksa diri sendiri dan semakin merenggangkan ikatan emosi dengan pasangan resmi," ujarnya.

Putus Kontak Sama Sekali

Kalau sudah tiba di titik ini,maka langkah selanjutnya sepenuhnya berada di tangan Anda. Mau memperbaiki hubungan dengan pasangan resmi atau lanjut dengan pasangan baru? Jika ternyata memilih untuk menyudahi affair dan "rujuk" kembali dengan pasangan,maka hal pertama yang mesti Anda lakukan adalah menguatkan niat. Pasalnya, di mana-mana, yang namanya putus hubungan cinta pasti akan terasa berat dan pahit.

Terlebih, menurut Stosny, satu-satunya cara menuntaskan sebuah affair emosi adalah dengan cara memutuskan kontak sama sekali dengan PIL Anda. "Menyudahi affair tetapi masih terus menjalin kontak lewat e-mail atau telepon malah bisa meningkatkan level godaan dan kadar obsesi Anda untuk kembali menjalin hubungan dengannya," ujarnya.

Tanamkan pula bahwa affair yang Anda miliki itu adalah sebuah hubungan yang tidak sehat. Meski affair ini terkesan tulus dan romantis lantaran tidak melibatkan sentuhan fisik, tapi tetap saja hubungan tersebut tidak memiliki landasan kuat. Lakukanlah pula introspeksi kepada diri sendiri. Pasalnya, sedari awal, affair ini terjadi lantaran ketidakmampuan Anda dan pasangan mendeteksi dan menyelesaikan persoalan dalam hubungan. Jika di masa depan masalah serupa muncul lagi, bukan tak mungkin Anda akan mencari solusi dengan menjalin affair baru.

Kebebasan Press/media - Freedom of the press

2010-04-18T10:02:00.005+10:00

Aib atau kejadian buruk/ negative/perbuatan buruk seseorang adalah sumber berita yang laris manis mengeruk keuntungan, apalagi yang jadi sumber berita buruk tersebut adalah tokoh masyarakat dan artis idola massa. Maka tidak heran muncul bermacam tabloid,majalah, siaran khusus selebriti, website bahkan photographer paparazzi yang menelanjangi privasi mereka lantaran tergiur keuntungannya. Lalu bagaimana jika sang subjek bukan tokoh tertentu maupun bukan artis? sedangkan sang wartawan perlu berita untuk disajikan kepada penggemar media massanya?

Memang benar kerja sebagai wartawan pencari berita berat sebab untuk bisa mengumpulkan bahan berita lalu mengemas berita buruk yang bisa menghibur pembaca atau pemirsa beresiko digebukin, di tampar, di maki-maki dan diperlakukan tidak ramah. Tetapi hasilnya layak dibayar mahal karena disisi lain adalah kita sebagai penikmat berita yang membaca koran atau menonton tv sambil minum teh bisanya complain kalau bacaannya atau tontonannya dirasa kurang bermutu tetapi uniknya tetap saja dia membeli korannya, membeli majalahnya, membeli tabloidnya, menonton tayangannya, mengikuti kisahnya dengan mata lapar dan curiosity.

Memang benar jika kita bicara soal moral dalam dunia press dan moral pembaca atau pemirsa menikmati berita aib seseorang bakalan njelimet.

Kejadian di Australia ini adalah contoh dari supremasi kebebasan media yang membuat kita harus waspada terhadap pekerjaan wartawan. Kegigihan sang kameraman dan kru nya dalam mengumpulkan bahan berita sungguh membuat hati kitapun ngeri, marah, dan macam-macam rasa tidak nyaman bila membayangkan sang subjek adalah diri kita sendiri.

Kisahnya sebenarnya biasa saja, yaitu perbuatan kriminal yang dilakukan seorang anak muda. Dia dijemput bapaknya dari court. Omar Amr has just been given bail by the magistrate, and he and his father were trying to walk away from the court. Yang tidak biasa disini adalah ketika sang wartawan berupaya keras memaksa sang subjek berita agar mengeluarkan kata-kata atau perbuatan yang layak menjadi berita, sang wartawan ntah sengaja atau tidak sengaja menyebut sang bapak F******** terrorist

Just doing my job, mate
http://www.abc.net.au/mediawatch/transcripts/s2870685.htm

Jason :

16 Apr 2010 12:57:03am

“The media has a right to film but I do not think they have a right to stalk them and then just say that the father and son got angry for no apparent reason. How would you feel if someone kept following you with a camera even though you told them to go away many times? How far would you let them follow you? I dare you to answer that.”

other sources:
http://www.abc.net.au/mediawatch/transcripts/s2870685.htm
http://www.crikey.com.au/2010/04/13/nine-cameraman-lynched-on-twitter-im-not-a-racist/
http://www.mediaspy.org/report/2010/04/13/nine-cameraman-stood-down/
http://www.news.com.au/national/channel-nine-cameraman-simon-fuller-sacked-over-f-ing-terrorist-slur/story-e6frfkw0-1225853550904
http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/outrage-over-channel-nine-cameramans-terrorist-slur-20100413-s62i.html?autostart=1
http://www.theage.com.au/entertainment/outrage-over-channel-nine-cameramans-terrorist-slur-20100413-s62i.html

my question is:

Is it the freedom of the press?

polygamy

2010-04-04T14:03:00.001+10:00

Polygamy,

Penned By Qalamuddin

it is not that easy

and mostly not that rosy

makes the wives feel queasy.

Polygamy,

it is not that easy

and definitely a sunnah of Rasulullah

but behold the warning from Allah.

Polygamy,

it is not that easy

mostly to emulate Rasulullah, Alhamdulillah!

Again, what about zikrullah and other sunnatullah?

Polygamy,

it is not that easy

two, three or four: be fair and square overall

for the benefit of one and all.

Polygamy,

it is not that easy

works for some but as for the rest

a cause of much distress? Only Allah knows best!

Polygamy,

it is not that easy

women will surely detest and protest

but please take it as part of The Test!

Polygamy,

it is not that easy

just stick to the one and only

if you are trying to be "funny" and not that "lonely"?

Polygamy,

it is not that easy

"too much, too much!" a non-believer stresses

but it is better than keeping a mistress under your mattress

Polygamy,

it is not that easy

till now men find it pleasing and appealing

thus making the women revolting and squealing.

Polygamy,

it is not that easy

surely a way to avoid adultery

Subhanallah, - the difference between a Muslim and his enemy!

Polygamy,

it is not that easy

for me? Are you crazy?

I rather take up origami!!

Surah An-Nisa Verse 3: ‘marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess. That will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice’

Sources: http://www.islamicpoem.com/?q=node/514

2010-03-09T08:38:00.003+10:00

Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

Quotations by unknown authors

Kau tak pernah sendiri

2009-12-27T07:48:00.004+10:00

Engkau tak pernah sendiri, karena

Allah memegang tanganmu di sepanjang jalan,

Meski engkau tidak menyadarinya

Tak sekalipun Dia meninggalkanmu, apapun yang telah engkau perbuat.

Bersyukurlah kepadaNya atas cobaan-cobaan dan kepedihan-kepedihan yang diberi.

Karena dirimu telah dikuatkan olehNya lebih dari yang engkau sadari.

Masa depan

2009-12-27T07:38:00.002+10:00

Kita tidak dapat melihat akhir atau apa yang Allah rencanakan

Seringkali lewat penderitaan kita mengenal kasih Allah dan merasakan damai yang di limpahkanNya.

Pernahkah engkau renungkan sejauh mana engkau telah tumbuh secara rohani?

Sesuatu tentang kebahagiaan

2009-12-27T07:25:00.004+10:00

Kebahagian seseorang itu ukurannya sangat relative dan masing-masing menggunakan parameter berbeda-beda. Kebetulan saya menyimpan salinan wisdom words mengenai hal ini di album perkawinan belasan tahun yang lalu, ntah diambil dari mana sayapun telah lupa,yang jelas wisdom words ini telah dibaca dan disalin jutaan kali oleh orang-orang karena isinya begitu dalam. Sayangnya saya tidak menemukan siapa yang mengarang atau merangkumnya “unknown”

Something about happiness

By unknown

Manusia bahagia bila ia bisa membuka mata. Untuk menyadari bahwa ia memiliki banyak hal yang berarti.

Manusia bisa bahagia bila ia mau membuka mata hati. Untuk menyadari, betapa ia dicintai.

Manusia bisa bahagia, bila ia mau membuka diri. Agar orang lain bisa mencintainya dengan tulus.
Manusia tidak bahagia karena tidak mau membuka hati, berusaha meraih yang tidak dapat diraih, memaksa untuk mendapatkan segala yang diinginkan, tidak mau menerima dan mensyukuri yang ada.

Manusia buta karena egois dan hanya memikirkan diri, tidak sadar bahwa ia begitu dicintai, tidak sadar bahwa saat ini, apa yang ada adalah baik, selalu berusaha meraih lebih, dan tidak mau sadar karena serakah.
Ada teman yang begitu mencintai, namun tidak diindahkan, karena memilih, menilai dan menghakimi sendiri. Memilih teman dan mencari-cari, padahal di depan mata ada teman yang sejati. Telah memiliki segala yang terbaik, namun serakah, ingin dirinya yang paling diperhatikan, paling disayang, selalu menjadi pusat perhatian, selalu dinomorsatukan.
Padahal, semua manusia memiliki peranan, hebat, dan nomor satu dalam satu hal, belum tentu dalam hal lain, dicintai oleh satu orang belum tentu oleh orang lain.
Kebahagiaan bersumber dari dalam diri kita sendiri. Jikalau berharap dari orang lain, maka bersiaplah untuk ditinggalkan, bersiaplah untuk dikhianati.
Kita akan bahagia bila kita bisa menerima diri apa adanya, mencintai dan menghargai diri sendiri, mau mencintai orang lain, dan mau menerima orang lain.
Percayalah kepada Tuhan, dan bersyukurlah kepada-Nya, bahwa kita selalu diberikan yang terbaik sesuai usaha kita, tak perlu berkeras hati. Ia akan memberi kita di saat yang tepat apa yang kita butuhkan, meskipun bukan hari ini, masih ada esok hari. Berusaha dan bahagialah karena kita dicintai begitu banyak orang.

“MOVING - settling down – making friends”

2009-12-25T09:30:00.006+10:00

Life has been really busy lately and I have to move to another place. The hardest part is giving up my pet. They are gold fish and I love them so much and I really want they find someone who love and caring them as we are. Then I ask my friends if anyone might have interest in adopting them. My husband says the last shelter is offering these fish to the pet shops. Honestly this situation is wrenching my heart.

Settle down now how to move to a new city and like it too
by Yee-Fan Sun

http://www.digsmagazine.com/index.htm http://www.digsmagazine.com/lounge/lounge_settledown.htm

Moving is one of those things that we all have to do in our lives. I know of no one who enjoys the process of having to pack up all of their belongings into boxes, haul them across town or across country, and then unpack the whole mess. But a little organization can go a long way to helping you keep your sanity during this crazy time. Moving to a new place is just a scary, scary thing. I'm excited about the city; I'm looking forward to decking out a new set of digs. But with the possibilities and the potential comes so much unknown -- so many how, so many what ifs. Moving to a new city is stressful, no doubt about it. All the packing and the good-byes? This part's no fun. And even once we're there, being in a new place offers its own fresh set of challenges. Yes, it'll be awhile yet before I'm happily settled down

Sure, when you suddenly find yourself in a strange place far, far, from home, it can take awhile to get used to your new environment. Armed with reasonable expectations and a few tips though, settling in can be a whole lot more manageable.

1 Make your move. Get as organized as possible with your move. Create a moving checklist -- and make good use of it. Once you're in your new digs, don't dawdle with the unpacking and settling in either. Little things like having your clothes in the closet, putting up photos of family and friends, getting telephone, cable and the all-important broadband connected will make a huge difference in helping you feel like you're starting to nest in the new surrounds.

2 Out and about. While getting your new pad squared away is important, don't forget to spend some time outside your little abode as well. Yeah, you'll want to do a little reconnoitring just to figure out the basics like where to do your grocery shopping, or which thrift shops offer the best chance for scouring that perfect whatever for your digs. But exploring for its own sake is a worthy endeavour too; the first couple of months in a new city are a fabulous time to play tourist. So get yourself a good map of the city, read up on different neighbourhoods, then put on some comfy walking shoes (yeah, you can hop in the car if you must, but personally, I'm of the opinion that travelling by foot is a far better way to get a lay of the land). Now hit the streets.

3 Where it's at. Get the low-down on what's going on around town. Start picking up that free weekly; look online for music, arts and other events listings; read restaurant reviews, learn about cool venues, find out where the second-run cheapie movie theatre is located. You'll expand your cultural horizons, fill your weekends with fun, and get to know different areas of town too as you check out the city's clubs, galleries, theatres and more.

4 Talk (part one). Talk to new people. Yes, I know it's not easy, especially for those of us who are a little on the shy side. But trust me, fellow introverts: finding friends has been the number one key to making each city I've lived in feel like home, and well worth the trauma of that awkward getting-to-know-people stage. So introduce yourself to your neighbours; invite a few of your new co-workers over for some grilling and drinks; go to that dinner party next Saturday, never mind that the only person you'll know is the host. And if the usual suspects for potential friends don't work out, take more active measures. Join a community group, drop in at a Stitch-n-Bitch, take a yoga class, find an ultimate league, get in touch with your university alumni club -- just get yourself out there, and quit worrying so much about whether people are going to think you're a freak. The thing is most people are so busy worrying about their own weirdness’s that they probably aren't even noticing yours anyway. And no matter how eccentric you are, there are like minds out there somewhere, just as eager to meet you as you are them.

5 Talk (part two). Of course, making new friends isn't an overnight process. Fortunately, technology makes keeping in touch with old buddies easier than ever. So talk to the old peeps too. Call old friends. If you haven't already discovered it, Skype is a godsend, allowing you to talk to and even see pals all over the world for absolutely free. Make use of it, and keep those links to your old life. It's a good way to ward off the occasional bouts of homesickness, and a nice reminder that you're not alone

6 Welcome, guests! Urge family and friends to visit. This, of course, works better in some locales than other -- moving to Edinburgh proved way more enticement for people to come visit than back when I lived in Tucson. But no matter what corner of the world you happen to be in, there are probably cool things to see and do. Pump them up when you talk to your loved ones; encourage folks to come on by. Of course, being able to offer a free bed will make houseguests all the more likely -- a good thing to keep in mind as you're furnishing your new space. Even if you're not blessed with an official second bedroom, having a futon or sofa bed around ensures that you can turn your living room or home office into a guest room at a moment's notice.

7 Wanna pet? Consider adopting a pet. In addition to providing you with excellent company, pets tend to impel perfect strangers to come talk to you without any effort on your part at all. Taking your dog to the park, you'll inevitably find yourself chatting with other proud dog-owners; when your way-more-outgoing-than-you pup makes friends with your neighbours, he'll pave the way for you as well. Outdoor cats work too, as they provide the perfect excuse for you to meet the people around you when you find yourself knocking on doors in search of your adventurous kitty. Yes, if your landlord is at all amenable to it and you're feeling ready for the responsibility, adding an adorable furry one to your household might be just the thing to help you get settled into your new life.

Above all, though, give yourself time -- at least a year, maybe two, before you start really knowing how you feel about your new environs. Making a home isn't something that happens in a snap -- getting to know a city takes time, making friends takes time, feeling like you're connected takes time. Settling in is a gradual process. Embrace the adventure, and you'll feel at home soon enough.

Looking for new friend

Finding friends in a new place
By Julie Sturgeon • Bankrate.com http://www.bankrate.com/brm/news/moving_on/2004_guide/Making-friends1.asp

"Making friends is easy if you think it's easy and difficult if you think it's difficult," says Ann G. Kramer, Ed. S., a licensed mental health counsellor who herself relocated around the country five times before settling in Tampa, Fla. "Many people approach moving as a reactive, negative: 'I'll deal with it because I have to.' I try to turn that into a challenge: 'How will this add to the adventure of my life?'"

Apparently there's something to this chin-up attitude -- Kramer's only friendship flop was in Baltimore where she arrived kicking and screaming. To avoid the same fate, consider these six common friendship busters:

Look backward
Change throws a spotlight on all those current things we love but take for granted, so it doesn't surprise psychologist Dr. Pam Brill when new arrivals focus on what they lost. The general population, however, finds it tedious.

"What am I, the person in this city, going to get out of being friends with you when all you really want to do is go home?" asks Kramer.

So dump the "back in Seattle," start to every sentence. Instead, accept the new address as a reality and use it as a clean slate to create the life you want. If you always meant to be physically fit, join a gym. Always dreamed of kayaking? Join a club. Jump into an amateur theatre production.

"Involve yourself in things that do interest you but aren't all about you," Brill says.

Expect too much
too many newcomers fail to scale down their expectations to reality. Merely showing up in public places doesn't guarantee friends. You need to be a leader now, complete with the tougher skin and tenacity needed for that job, psychologists say.

So host a backyard barbecue or a party -- it's a great way to introduce yourself, says Marla Paul, who wrote, "The Friendship Crisis: Finding, Making, and Keeping Friends When You're Not a Kid Anymore." But don't get upset when your guests don't reciprocate -- your invitation wasn't synonymous with obligation.

"You may have a tremendous need to make new friends, but everybody else barely has enough time for career, family and their current circle," she says.

To increase your odds for a hit, don't try to wedge your way into the popular group from the get-go. People who are already the life of the party, work full time, have children and have lived in the area all their lives are simply less available. "You'll have to take a number to fit into their life no matter how much they like you," Paul says.

Finally, wake up to the fact that not every friendship results in a deep bond. Ask Leslie Levine, author of "Wish It, Dream It, Do It," who moved to the Chicago suburbs six years ago. Today she knows lots of people, but still isn't part of a Friends-like clique. "My good friends are a very small group who don't know each other," she says.

"They don't like me"
You're off track the minute you take aloneness personally. In some cases, the recipient of your cookies, phone calls and e-mails may not know how to respond, says Levine. But more likely, experts concur, they merely lack time to open their routines to a new face. One of Paul's sources confessed that the first gal she approached in a new city bluntly informed the newcomer she didn't have time for new friends right now, thank you.

And, like falling in love, sometimes the relationship doesn't mesh for the other party even if you are delightfully charming. For example, some divorced people prefer to surround themselves with other single-against. Paul interviewed a woman who sought to form friends only with beautifully dressed older women because she aspired to that status in life. Still other folks struggle with personal situations behind closed doors that they won't reveal.

"The undercurrent is that you just can't know what somebody else is seeking. Just because they don't respond to your overture doesn't necessarily mean it's about you," Paul says. "In fact, it's rarely about you."

One word: clingy
Nothing drives off people faster than the emotionally needy. Complain about your new situation, beg people for their time, adopt a subtle whine to your tone and kiss the current batch of friendship candidate’s goodbye.

As a gut check, Kramer recommends her clients keep a journal for a few weeks to reveal the undertones. Are you making notes of how sad you are? How frustrated, angry, disappointed, scared? Chances are great you give off those vibes outside those pages, too, so make a conscious decision to relegate those conversations to your journal friend, not the flesh-and-blood ones.

Give up too soon
when you say someone isn't responding, what does that mean? Did you have a great time at lunch and now you're waiting in vain for her to call you to set the next date? "That doesn't quite equal no response," in Paul's book. It's reasonable, she says, to call two or three times before you jump to that conclusion. Even then, bring up the topic gently, as in "I enjoy spending time with you, but I've noticed I'm the one who makes the calls. Am I looking for more time than you have available?"

Paula clocks the amount of time it takes to make new friends in terms of years. Kramer gives a more optimistic time frame but cautions people to not expect any real movement for at least eight months. "It takes that long to set up a couple of meetings and get beyond 'Hi, my name is Ann,'" she says.

Lean on former friends
The best buds you left behind can be a great support system if you rely on them to help you shape this new vision of your life and encourage you in ways to reach out. "It's important to keep in touch with your old friends to remind you that you are loveable and you'll have friends again," Paul says.

On the other hand, this crutch cripples when you pour all your free time into longing for what you miss rather than launching into the new world, warns Brill.

"Friendship is the by-product of pursuing life with passion, meaning and values that are important to you. It's not the goal itself," she adds.

-- Posted: July 7, 2004

Tips for Getting to Know the People in Your New Area

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/123485/how_to_make_friends_in_a_new_place.html

Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People is easily one of society's most popular books over the course of time. This is no accident. Most people are concerned with making good friends. In this article, I will give some tips for making friends.

The key to friends is choosing the right friends. Before you can make any friends, you should sit down and try to figure out what kind of friends you want to associate with. This is especially a good idea for a person who is embarking on a new experience, such as going to college for the

First
time or starting a new life in a new city. If you are anything like me, then you want to associate with people who are similar to you. Do you want people who do the same sort of things that you do? Think about the identifying characteristics of your old friends and try to find people who are similar to that.

One great way to find friends is to look for groups that are in your local area that focus on a certain skill or bring together people who are like you. Is there a religious group that you are associated with? At my college, the Fellowship of Christian Athletes group brought together people who were interested in the same things. This made for some great and meaningful friendships. Never join in with a group of people just because you want to be a part of the crowd. If you do not like what they are about, then do not hang out with these folks.

Be yourself around the people that you meet. This is a good way to set a nice precedent for later experiences. If you make friends based upon some false pretence, then your friendships will never last. If the people like you for whom you are, then you will have something meaningful. If you are a goofy guy or gal, then continue to be that same goofy person when you meet new people. A great thing to remember when trying to make friends is to remember people's names. People often love their names and because of that, it will be important to them. Repeat a person's name a few times in order to remember it. When you get done talking to a person, write down his or her

name for your own personal recollection. This is a great way to make sure you stay on top of these things. This way, when you see that person again, you will be able to identify them by their name. This goes a long way in making a favourable
impression

moving right along... a moving checklist
by Leanne Schildroth

Print out this checklist.

Eight weeks before the move

If hiring a moving van and driver, get written estimates from at least three companies. Contact the Department of Transportation (202-366-4000 or check out the website) for detailed info on rights, responsibilities, and legal jargon. No denying that it's as boring as the Statistics class you took in college, but it's also need-to-know info!

For do-it-yourself moves, make arrangements for truck rental and moving help. Read: bribe your friends to slug boxes for you in exchange for you buying them pizza afterwards.

Call your insurance agent to see what changes to expect in your policies for changing states. Ask if you'll be covered through your current policy during the move.

If necessary, book flights, car rentals and hotels for the journey to your new city. If you plan to drive to your new home, gather maps and directions.

Create a "move file." Many moving receipts are tax deductible, so hang on to your receipts. Request Publication 521 from the Internal Revenue Service to find out which moving expenses you can deduct (1-800-829-3676 or www.irs.gov/formspubs to download).

Six weeks before the move

Complete a Change of Address Form with the US Post Office. If your new address has yet to be determined, ask the postal service to hold your mail in their office in your new city.

Also remember to change your address with:

Banks and credit card companies -- tragically, changing zip codes doesn't change the balance owing on your VISA. Internal Revenue Service -- taxes are an inevitable part of life. Notify the IRS using Form 8822. Past employer -- they will need to know where to send your W2 form. Magazines and newspapers -- moving is stressful enough. You certainly don't want to miss a month of "Cosmo" or "Maxim." Friends and family -- how else will Great Aunt Mimi know where to mail this Christmas' batch of fruit cake?

Transfer memberships in gyms and clubs. Can't remember the last time you laced up your sneakers for a workout? If you're moving out of the city, check to see if you're eligible for a refund.

Obtain medical, dental, legal, financial, and optometrist records. Ask doctor and dentist for referrals and transfer prescriptions. Don't forget about Fido's records from the vet.

Five weeks before the move

Take inventory of your belongings, in the event you need to file an insurance claim later. If possible, photograph or videotape your stuff (just keep the videotape tasteful and straightforward -- you can save your Martin Scorsese-aspirations for another film project). Record serial numbers of electronic equipment.

Make a list of things that are valuable and/or sentimental. Plan on shipping these by certified mail or carrying them with you.

Not taking that fur-trimmed lamp shade with you? Start planning a yard sale or donating items to charity (bonus points if you remember to get a donor receipt for income tax purposes).

Check with your local U.S. Department of Agriculture for regulations regarding moving plants from one state to another. If it'll be a hassle, consider retiring your dream of a green thumb and giving your plants away.

Start using up food items so that there is less left to pack and possibly spoil. Challenge yourself to create new meals based on whatever you have on hand.

Four weeks before the move

If packing yourself, start collecting packing supplies (newspaper, bubble wrap, packing tape, scissors, marker) and boxes. Big boxes and small boxes. Tall boxes and short boxes. Lots and lots of boxes. Trust me, you will need far more than you think that you will.

Start packing! Pack seldom used items (i.e. photo albums, knick-knacks, out-of season clothing). Start setting aside items that will be traveling with you (i.e. important documents, valuables, prescriptions) or that should be unloaded first (i.e. toilet paper, cleaning supplies, alarm clock) once you arrive at your new digs. Avoid loading more than 50 pounds into one box -- just because your new job offers extended health benefits doesn't mean you want to wind up at the chiropractor.

If you are moving into or out of an apartment, book the elevator for move day

Schedule disconnection of utility services (i.e. electric, water, gas, phone, cable, Internet) at your old home for the day after you leave, and schedule connection for the day before you arrive.

Three weeks before the move

Clean rugs and clothing and have them wrapped for moving.

Make sure library books have been returned and dry cleaning items have been picked up. Does your neighbor still have your Velvet Revolver CD? Now's the time to ask for it back.

Advertise and host your garage sale. Again, bribing some friends with the offer of free pizza usually works if you need a few sets of hands to help out.

Two weeks before the move

Back up important computer files, and add the disk to the box of stuff that you will be carrying with you.

If moving a significant distance, confirm your flights and travel arrangements. Like you learned back in the Boy / Girl Scouts, it's best to always be prepared.

If driving your car, have your automobile serviced.

One week before the move

Dispose of flammables, corrosives and poisons (i.e. BBQ propane tanks, lawn mower gas, paint). Items considered flammable will not be loaded by the moving crew.

Give a friend or relative your travel route and schedule so you may be reached if needed.

A few days before the move

Check your moving company's payment policies. Make sure you have money on hand to pay the moving company, and enough cash for your travels (read: coffee, diet coke, food, gas, etc).

Close bank accounts and have your funds wired to your new bank. Before closing, be sure there are no outstanding checks or automatic payments that haven't been processed.

Pack your former town's phone book for future correspondence.

1 day before the move

Empty, defrost and clean your refrigerator.

Grab some muffins and fruit for breakfast on move day. While you're out, pick up some soda and juice for the movers. Whether they are hired hands or your friends, they will appreciate the gesture.

Take down curtains and blinds -- yep, the folks in the apartment building across from you will be getting quite the view of you for one night.

On moving day

If you live in a congested area, recruit some friends to park their vehicles one after another in a space close to your home until the truck arrives. The closer the truck can get, the better your chances are of not incurring an additional charge.

Make the job safe and easy for your movers: remove floor mats, clear potted plants from the porch, and disconnect the spring on the screen door so that it stays open during the loading process.

Once the mover arrives, point out the boxes you would like to have unloaded first.

Make sure moving van driver has the correct address, phone number and directions. Jot down any information the driver can provide (i.e. cell phone or pager number).

Take one last sweep of the house before the driver leaves for any hiding places that may have been forgotten (crawl space? shelf of the closet? on top of the fridge?).

Take a deep breath, lock the door and say goodbye. This part of your life is over but the new journey (and the unpacking) are just beginning . . .

Nasehat perkawinan yang sering terlupakan

2009-12-23T09:44:00.011+10:00

Saya tidak ingat sudah berapa lama secarik kecil kliping lusuh dari majalah Cosmopolitan Indonesia ini bersemayam di dompet, yah paling tidak 12 tahun sebab artikel itu dimuat pada tahun pertama majalah ini beredar di Indonesia, kira-kira tahun 1997an. Uniknya setiap ganti dompet atau membersihkan isi dompet otomatis say abaca lagi tulisannya yang mulai pudar dan merenungkan kembali hubungan dengan suami. Biasanya saya bersyukur dengan apa yang telah dicapai dalam perkawinan kami.

Saya bukanlah konsultan perkawinan yang mempunyai segudang teori nasehat tentang perkawinan yang langgeng, sayapun cenderung malas membaca dengan sukarela dan tekun buku-buku mengenai kehidupan rumahtangga kecuali jika benar-benar membutuhkan wacana. Meniru kehidupan perkawinan kakek dan orangtua yang tentram penuh limpahan cinta sampai akhir hayat mereka sudah cukup hanya ditambah improvisasi saja sebab saya dan suami adalah pribadi yang berbeda dengan mereka.

Cuplikan tulisan dari Kosmopolitan ini hanya 11 item tetapi dalam pelaksanaannya butuh banyak hal yang dilakukan termasuk pengorbanan kepentingan pribadi agar tercapai kepentingan bersama. Bagi saya kekurangan dari wisdom words ini adalah item agama dan tata karma, sebab agama dan tata karma membuat manusia mencapai kebahagiaan yang sempurna karena disana diajarkan saling pengertian atas keterbatasan manusia atas segala hal. Kebetulan baru-baru ini Shahid Khan membahas soal ini dalam milis nya.

1. Kebahagiaan tidak muncul begitu saja. Anda harus menciptakannya.

2. Kesuksesan pasangan haruslah membuat yang lain bahagian, bukan menderita.

3. Menikah bukanlah untuk mencari jalan keluar dari suatu masalah.

4. Cinta itu berarti menerima kekurangan si dia dan menghargai kelebihannya.

5. Pasangan anda bukan peramal yang bisa membaca pikiran anda. Komunikasi terbuka adalah penting.

6. Hubungan perkawinan selalu berubah sejalan dengan bergulirnya waktu. Anda harus belajar memahami perubahan dalam diri anda dan dia.

7. Kalau cinta sudah tercemar oleh penghianatan, susah untuk membangun rasa percaya dan saling menghargai.

8. Jangan menyalahkan. Hal ini hanya akan menghambat komunikasi dan membuat dia kehilangan rasa percaya diri.

9. Bila pasangan anda merasa dirinya dicintai, diterima dan dihargai, dia akan membuat anda merasakan hal yang sama.

10. Cinta bukan menghukum, tetapi memaafkan. Memang melupakan kata-kata atau tindakan menyakitkan yang dilakukan pasangan anda adalah sulit, tetapi dengan memaafkan setidaknya hubungan yang sehat akan terus berjalan.

11. Walaupun hubungan suami istri adalah hubungan yang dekat, keduanya harus menghargai kebebasan masing-masing untuk mengembangkan minat dan bergaul dengan orang lain.

Knowing the bounds of our mannerisms

By Shahid Khan

12. Mannerisms have limits: When these limits are crossed, they become transgression. When they fall short, they become deficiency and disgrace.

13. Anger has a limit: It is to be bold while being above having negative and deficient traits, and this is the perfect form of anger. If this limit is exceeded, you become a transgressor. If you fall short of it, you will be a coward and will not be able to raise yourself above negative traits.

14. Covetousness has a limit: It is to take all you need from this world and what it has to offer you. When you fall short of this limit, it becomes disgrace and lack of resolve. When you exceed this limit, you end up wanting what you shouldn’t want.

15. Envy has a limit: It is to compete in becoming perfect and to excel such that your rival is unable to excel you. When this limit is exceeded, you transgress and oppress in which you wish that the good things are taken away from the one you envy and are keen to harm him. When you fall short of this limit, you become low, weak in aspiration, and you belittle yourself. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “There should be no envy except in regards to two things: a man who is granted wealth by Allah and he is able to spend it for the sake of the truth, and a man who is granted wisdom by Allah and he takes it and teaches it to the people.” So, this is an envy of competition, where the envious one pushes himself to be like the one he envies without wishing that he is deprived of the good things that he has.

16. Sexual desire has a limit: It is to relax the heart and mind from the exhaustion of worship, to maintain moral excellence, and to use the fulfillment of these desires to help you in this. When you exceed this limit, you fall into being overly lustful, and you come to resemble animals. When you fall short of this limit and don’t use this time to obtain excellence and virtue, this becomes weakness, inability, and disgrace.

17. Relaxation has a limit: It is to collect yourself and your strength to prepare for worship and perfection of the self, and to save this so that you don’t become weak or tired. When you exceed this limit, this becomes laziness and waste, and you end up missing out on so many things that could benefit you. When you fall short of this limit, you end up hurting and weakening your energy, and it might even be cut off from you like a farmer who has no land to plow or crops to pick.

18. Generosity has a limit: Whenever this limit is exceeded, this becomes wastefulness and extravagance. When you fall short of this limit, you become cheap and miserly.

19. Bravery has a limit: When you cross this limit, you become reckless. When you fall short of this limit, you become a coward. This limit is that you put yourself forth when the time is right to do so and that you hold yourself back when the time is right to do so, just like Mu’awiyah said to Amr Bin Al-’Aas: “I don’t know whether you’re brave or cowardly! You go forth to the point that I say you’re the bravest person, and then you stay back to the point that I say you’re the most cowardly person!” So, he replied: “I am brave if I am guaranteed the chance, If I don’t have the chance, I am a coward."

20. Protective jealousy has a limit: If you exceed this limit, you fall into accusation and suspicion of the innocent. If you fall short of this limit, you fall into heedlessness and lack of manhood.

21. Humility has a limit: If it is crossed, this becomes humiliation and disgrace. If you fall short of it, you deviate to arrogance and false pride.

22. Honor has a limit: If you exceed it, you fall into arrogance and blameworthy traits. If you fall short of it, you deviate to humiliation and disgrace.

23. The basic principle in all this is to choose the path of moderation between excess and negligence. This is what all of the benefits of this world and the next are built upon. In fact, you can benefit your body in no other way, because when some of your activities are done with lack of moderation and either exceed or fall short of it, your body’s health and energy begin to decline accordingly.

24. Likewise, natural activities such as sleeping, staying awake, eating, drinking, having intercourse, playing sports, spending time alone, spending time with others, etc. – if these are all done moderately between the two blameworthy extremes, this is justice. If you deviate to either extreme, this is a sign of deficiency and will lead to even more deficiency. This knowledge of proper limits is from the best types of knowledge, especially the limits of what is commanded and prohibited. The most knowledgeable people are those who know the most about these limits.

By Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyyah, Al-Fawa’id, pg. 196-199

GUIDE DOG AND MUSLIM

2009-12-17T06:08:00.010+10:00

I used to have some guard dogs when I lived in rural area of Jakarta years ago. One of my best times was playing with them. I didn’t mind they licked and sniffed at me as I had clean it with earth, washed it with water straight away as of our believe to do so. Most of I had to shower and changed clothes.

When I came to Australia 4 years ago I was so impressed with guide dogs. I knew they had training since puppy try to open their eyes. Do we realise they are only animal who has certain level of intelligence, wild passion and some of natural habits. Amazingly they could guide a blind or disable people & help them doing their activity. “Oh their job really took my breath away as my tears were falling down every time I watch them, Allahu Akbar”.

I was so happy when I found Islamic articles mention the guide dog is ok and acceptable in Islamic community. So in my opinion giving donation to the guide dogs is also helping those special people as well.

She is blind and she has no one to protect her and help her. Can she keep a dog that is trained for that purpose?

http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/78353

There is a sister of yours in Islam who is American and became Muslim more than a year ago, after she suffered beatings from her husband which caused her to lose some movement and to lose her sight. Allaah made this incident the cause of this woman entering Islam. The problem is that this woman needs care and help 24 hours a day. She got in touch with the imam of the nearest mosque and he helped her, by sending one of the sisters to look after her. But this sister cannot carry on because of personal reasons. Hence she has asked for help from the state social services. They told her that they cannot give her a person to look after her, but they can give her a dog that is trained to help the handicapped and blind.
This woman is asking and says: I know that having a dog in the house is forbidden in Islam, but you do not know how much help it can give me. It could take me out to the supermarket and help me with my needs inside the house, etc.The question now is:This woman is in need of this kind of dog. It is permissible for her to keep it in the house because of necessity?.

The answer is:
Praise be to Allaah.

We ask Allaah to make our sister steadfast in Islam, and to heal her and decree reward for her for her patience.

Keeping dogs is basically haraam – as is well known – but the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) granted a concession with regard to keeping dogs if it is for guarding the fields, herding livestock or hunting.

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever keeps a dog, a qiraat will be deducted from his reward every day, except a dog for guarding the fields or herding livestock.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2197) and Muslim (1575).

It was also narrated from him (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever keeps a dog, except a dog for herding livestock, hunting or guarding the fields, a qiraat will be deducted from his reward every day.” Narrated by Muslim (1575).

Is it permissible to keep a dog for purposes other than those mentioned above?

The answer is: yes. Imam al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
There was a difference of opinion with regard to whether it is permissible to keep dogs for purposes other than these three, such as guarding houses and roads. The most correct view is that it is permissible, by analogy with these three, based on the reason that is to be understood from the hadeeth, which is necessity. End quote.
Sharh Muslim (10/236)

Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
In my view, the meaning of this hadeeth also includes keeping dogs if there is a purpose in doing so and for warding off harm, if a person needs that. End quote.
Al-Tamheed (14/219)

For this woman to keep a trained dog – when there is no one who can help her, take care of her and protect her – is more essential than guarding fields and livestock.

Shaykh Yoosuf ibn ‘Abd al-Haadi said, quoting from one of the scholars:

There is no doubt that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) gave permission for keeping hunting dogs, according to numerous ahaadeeth, and he said that the reward of the one who keeps a dog for hunting is not reduced. In other ahaadeeth he gave permission for keeping dogs for herding livestock, dogs for herding sheep and dogs for guarding the fields. Thus it is known that the reason for allowing this is people’s interests, and the ruling is based on the reasons for and against. If there is an interest to be served, then it is permissible (to keep a dog). Some interests may be more important and greater than that of farming, and some interests may be equal to those mentioned by the Lawgiver. There is no doubt that fruits are equivalent to crops in the fields, and cattle are equivalent to sheep, and chickens and geese – (as a dog is needed) in order to keep the fox away from them – are equivalent to sheep too. Undoubtedly the fear of thieves attacking a person, and keeping a dog to warn against them and wake one up is even more important than that. Islam seeks to protect interests and ward off harm. End quote.

Al-Ighraab fi Ahkaam al-Kilaab (p. 106, 107).

Based on this, there is nothing wrong with this woman keeping this trained dog until Allaah provides her with a way out, such as her living with a Muslim family who can take care of her for the sake of Allaah, or her marrying a Muslim man who may seek reward with Allaah for looking after her.

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A

What to do with a Guide Dog when entering a Mosque

http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/803/dog

Assalaam alaikum
I am desiring to embrace Islam, however I have a slight concern. I am legally blind and use a guide dog for mobility purposes. I have been informed that I have no problems being a Muslim and having a guide dog due to my disability. However, I am concerned at the reaction that I get from other Muslims when I approach an Islamic Center. I do not want to offend but without the assistance of the guide dog I am unable to travel to a Masjid or Islamic center alone. With who should I discuss this situation i.e., an Imam? I sometimes feel I am at a "stalemate" .
Thank you for your help.

The answer is:

To the dear noble inquirer:

You have reached the doorstep of entering into islam and are hesitant due to concern over what you may face vis-á-vis the response of fellow muslims regarding the dog you use to guide you to the masjid of Islamic center. Let me assure you that the matter is simple and much easier to deal with than that you may think.

You are a man for whom Allah has ordained blindness as a trial, and there is little or no practical recourse for your daily movement, coming and going, other than a trained dog. Whereas keeping a dog without due need is censured and objectionable according to Islamic shari’ah (due to its filth and uncleanness), in your case keeping a dog is clearly for an urgent need and not out of custom, tradition or love for owning the dog itself. So perhaps you have s valid excuse regarding this issue. Insyaallah (Allah willing)

I can’t imagine that you would require to enter the mosque or Islamic center with the dog; rather, you most likely would leave him outside and enter for worship, attending a religious gathering or to learn and ask about matters concerning your religion. As long as the cae is as such, the issue is solved and the matter is settled. If you leave the dog at a distance from the entrance to to mosque , then whoever among the Muslim does not welcome you warmly would clearly be committing a mistake. You could also contact the director of the Islamic center or whoever fills such position, in order to explain to him your situation. I would expect him to assume the responsibility for informing those who administer as well as attend the mosque. If you like, feel free to take this response as a letter to him and ask him to peruse it and I am confident you will find only goodwill and cordiality. Insyaallah.

In closing I would like to welcome you to the religion of islam and send you a warm salutation and an extraordinary congratulations on your desire to accept the religion. I urge you to hasten in taking the greatest step of your life since your mother gave birth to you, and I would like to leave you with glad tidings regarding the disability with which you are afflicted. In fact, you will receive a great reward you your blindness of you accept Islam, as per the saying of our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) [translation meaning]:

“Verily Allah has said, ‘If I afflict one of My worshippers with a trial regarding his two dearest ones (ie., his eyes) and he patient and perseveres, I will compensate him for them Heaven.”(Hadeeth al-Bukhari, Fath ul-Baari#5653)

We ask Allah to open your heart to the truth and to assist you in holding fast to it and Allah is the One Who Guides to the true path of righteousness.
Seikh muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid.
Islam Q&A

Guide dogs open Muslim leaders' eyes http://tvnz.co.nz/world-news/guide-dogs-open-muslim-leaders-eyes-3018400
Published: 9:10PM Thursday September 24, 2009
Source: AAPRead

Islamic leaders are working to break down misconceptions about dogs after a spate of complaints that Muslim cab drivers are banning guide dogs.
Cultural and religious beliefs prevent Muslims from coming into contact with dogs' saliva because it is considered unclean.

Guide Dogs Queensland (GDQ) threw open its doors to a group of clerics from the Imam Council of Queensland (ICQ) in Brisbane, in an Australian and possibly world first to promote the value of dogs to vision-impaired Muslims.

While at the same time, through Muslim leaders, they hope to dispel some fears that Muslims may have of dogs.

GDQ Rehabilitation Service manager Bashir Ebrahim, a Muslim himself, said the belief about dogs came from religious and cultural upbringing but varied in extremes, depending on the individual.

"Dogs are regarded as unclean from the saliva," he said.

"When that fluid touches you then you are regarded as unclean, so you'd need to wash."

There are different schools of thought about touching, where some Muslims are happy to have the hair on them if they brush against a dog, others are not.

But it was important for those exposed to dog hair to clean themselves after, he said.

He said it was dangerous to assume that every taxi driver who rejected guide dogs from cabs was Muslim.

"It may be that there is a higher percentage (of Muslims not allowing dogs in taxis), but there are access rights that have been breached by all members of society," Ebrahim said.

Just last week, hotel owners on the Gold Coast banned a guide dog from their establishment, he said.

In Islam it is permissible to have working dogs, such as guide dogs, guard dogs or hunting dogs.

But in Australia, there is only one vision-impaired Muslim, from Victoria, who has a guide dog.

After watching the dogs at work, the Imams sang the praises of the dogs and pledged to work with GDQ.

Imam Mohammed Akram Buksh, who was part of the delegation, said special rooms had been set aside outside of mosques where Muslims could leave their dogs while they went inside to pray.

"If a person has a dog for a valid reason there is no problem at all," he said.

"At the end of the day I think these dogs are tremendous.

"God Almighty has created the dog and without a doubt this certain breed has changed many things in many people's lives and is a great benefit in society. Even in Muslim society."

Ebrahim said a national gathering of Imams was next on the agenda, as well as an education program for Muslim schools, which was supported by the Muslim leaders.

"The Imams Council of Queensland endorse what we are doing," Ebrahim said.

"They want to partnership with us in terms of getting the message across to the whole Muslim community as well as encourage (vision impaired) people to seek our services."

Muslim leaders endorse guide dogs in Australia
Asia-Pacific Newshttp://www.monstersandcritics.com/news/asiapacific/news/article_1502911.php/Muslim-leaders-endorse-guide-dogs-in-Australia

Sep 24, 2009, 8:14 GMT http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,26118020-26103,00.html

The groundbreaking visit was organized by Guide Dogs Queensland and came after complaints that Muslim taxi drivers were refusing to allow seeing eye dogs in their cabs.

If a person has a dog for a valid reason there's no problem at all,' Islamic Council of Queensland spokesman Imam Mohammed Akram Buksh said. 'God Almighty has created the dog and without a doubt this certain breed has changed many things in many people's lives and is a great benefit in society.'

Helping arrange the visit to the training school was dog handler Bashir Ebrahim, himself a Muslim. He said that he knew of only one blind Muslim who had a guide dog.

Muslims to learn benefits of guide dogs

September 24, 2009

Article from: Australian Associated Press

MUSLIM leaders in Brisbane will be told of the benefits of guide dogs today as they visit a training centre run by Guide Dogs Queensland.

Many Muslims consider dogs to be unclean.

Guide Dogs Queensland wants to alert the 25 spiritual leaders to the benefits of trained guide dogs for Muslims with low vision or who are blind.

The Muslim leaders will learn about white cane training and guide dog mobility and undertake a tour of the breeding and training centre.

To know more information about guide dog,please visit htttp://www.guidedogsaustralia.com/

http://www.guidedogsqld.com.au/ and http://www.islam-qa.com/en/search2/dog/AllWords/t,q,a http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1Xv92FYRUs&feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-05qEC4qzE&feature=channel

The guide dog pictures are belong to guide dogs Australia website

Sydney - Twenty-five leaders of Australia's 350,000-strong Islamic community visited a Brisbane school for guide dogs Thursday to show blind Muslims that there was no religious prohibition against companion animals.

History of the first Indonesian Muslim in Mackay; Queensland - Australia.

2009-09-05T21:30:00.011+10:00

I was so honoured first time I met Contor and Hassan family members when I visited Mackay in 2005. I had my first conversation with Imam Barry Hassan in Bahasa Indonesia the Indonesia National language. It was amazing as he spoke bahasa Indonesia in very good Indonesia accent. He was born in Australia as well as his parent.

The Contor and the Hassan family were very happy when I gave them an Indonesia CD music of Indonesian National anthems. They loved Indonesia Raya.

At that moment, Mr. Barry Hassan and wife tried to record their family tree who originally from Cikande region west of Java island. It was not an easy task as their grandparent never kept in touch with their family since they left Indonesia back in 1885. It was a time consuming and lots of patients and searching involved.

About a year ago Sister Maryam Contor lent me two books about her family the first Indonesian Muslims who settle in Mackay 1885. I really touched by her caring with my enthusiasm to know more about Mackay mosque. She said “The history of Javanese Muslims in Mackay had been recorded in this book”.

One book about stories of Muslim Women in Queensland; compiled by Emad Soliman "Butterflies in Fresh Fields"; the other book is written by Nahid Kabir. “Muslims in Australia; immigration, race relations and cultural history”. Published by KEGAN PAUL; ISBN 0-7103-1108-7. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nahid_Kabir wikipedia.org/wiki/Nahid_Kabir .

In her book, Nahid Kabir wrote:

History of Indonesia’s Muslim in Mackay, Australia.
The first Muslim contact with the continent of Australia took place before European settlement, as early as the 17th century when the Macassan (Makassar) people come to the north coast on fishing expeditions. They came to catch ‘trepang’ commonly known as sea slugs.
( C.C MacKnight, the voyage to Marege: Macassan Trepangers in Northern Australia (Carlton: Melbourne university Press, 1976)’pp.48-60; see also M.L.Jones, “Muslim Impact on Early Australian Life”, in M.L.Jones, et al., eds, An Australian Pilgrimage: Press in Association with the museum of Victoria, 1993), pp.31-48; A. Saeed, Islam”, in G. Davison, et al., eds, The Oxford Companion to Australia history (South Melbourne, Vic,: Oxford University Press, 2001), pp 356-7

A Javanese presence in Australia can be traced from the 1880’s when some came to north Queensland to work as labourers in the sugar industry. A few of their Australian-born third and fourth generation children have retained the Islamic religion. They recalled their forebears’ contribution to Australia during wartime.

Javanese settlement in Mackay 1880-1999
After being refused access to labourers from India in the 1860’s, the sugar planters of Queensland showed interest in employing Javanese indentured labourers because they appeared to be submissive and skilled in sugar cane plantation work. As early as 1863 Queensland Premier R.G.W. Herbert expressed interest in establishing commercial relations with java and noted that the island was well-suited to export coloured labour. John spiller, who successfully grew the first cane in Mackay in the 1860s, had learnt sugar-growing and manufacture in Java. He was thus accustomed to the advantage of having a servile labour force and hoped to bring some of his labourers to the colony. In the 1880s when Mourilyan Sugar Company employed a significant number of Javanese, the management held that this ethnic group was capable of managing the boilers, performing mill-work, and driving locomotives. The manager of the company, N.J. Bullard, said that the Javanese were preferable to Melanesians because they could be used continuously in wet weather, and did not have same high death-rates as the Islanders. (McGrath, Exile into Bondage, pp.42-3)
On 31 March 1886, “The Mercury” newspaper reported that 160 Javanese labourers arrived in Mackay to work for the Colonial Sugar Company’s plantation at Homebush and 85 men would be employed by the Melbourne-Mackay sugar company. See Anon., “Malays, Javanese and South Sea Islanders in Mackay 1885-1900”, cited in M. Hislop, et al., eds, Sweet Settlement: The Making of Mackay and Pioneer Valley 1860-1918 (Rockhampton, Qld: Central Queensland University Press, 1995), p.115.

A fourth generation Javanese Muslim, Imam Barry Hassan of Mackay, said that his forebears told him that at the turn of the century there were roughly 600 Muslims in Mackay.
Mackay historical society and Museum Inc confirmed that was about in 1885 more than 200 immigrants came from around a small village in Western Java near Jakarta called Cikande. http://www.mackayhistory.org/research/cemeteries/peri_cemetery.html

Regarding the living conditions of the first arrivals, second generation Australia-born Javanese people recalled that they lives in Malayan-Javanese style grass huts made of bamboo. Inside they had their bed and mosquito nets.

Socially, these people did not meet any discrimination in practising their religion. In 1976 Clive Moore’s interviews with the second generation Contor brothers, John Ismat and Tom Isma Contor, revealed that they were not discriminated against by their employers for practicing their Islamic faith, and John Contor became the local Imam. Tom Contor maintained that during working hours they offered salat and observed ramadhan.

Imam Hassan maintained that his parents, who were third generation Muslims, practiced their religion, but they did not pass their beliefs and practices on their next generation. These young people learnt about islam from outside contact such as Imam Rane in Brisbane (tape 39, mackay, 22 April 1999).

Fred Atim Shadiman, recalled that the earlier generations had a mosque made out of grass. Which was later burnt by a cane fire. They called it a Muslim church. They also called the Islamic Festivals, Eid-ul-Fitr and Eid-ul-Adha, Malay Christmas. (tape 39; tape 42, mackay, 23 April 1999).

The Javanese Muslims Mackay also gave contribution to the World War II.
Hazel Neah Saron, a third generation Javanese, recalled her late husband’s (Arthur Saron) experience during World War II. Elaine Mariyam Crenen, a third generation Javanese recalled the Voluntary Devence Force service of her father, the late John Ismat Contor during the World War II. She also recalled that her brother Vivian Sunim Contor became a national service man at the age of 18 years, based at an army camp in Brisbane. Imam Barry Hassan, a fourth generation Australian-born Muslim of Javanese origin, recaled his late uncle Alec Aleman enlisted himself voluntarily in AIF in the Wolrd War II. He served in Jerusalem, Creta, New Guinie and the Middle East. His other relative, Edward Long was over in Malaysia fighting and he was killed as a prisoner-of war.

Muslim cemeteries.
As the first Javanese labourers arrived in Mackay in 1885 which they were brought here by The management of C.S.R. Homebush Mill and the Palms Mills, they understood that the Javanese and Malay muslims, buried their dead differently to europeans then The Manager of The palms Mill Mr. John W. In 1913 set aside some land for Javanese to create a burial ground on the northern banks of Bakers Creek, near Walkerston. Mackay, Qld. All the first muslim generation burried at that place. The cemetry name is Piri Cemetery.

http://www.mackayhistory.org/research/cemeteries/peri_cemetery.html

Mackay Mosque.
The Islamic society was formed in 1977 by the generation of Javanese Muslims in Mackay. They received donations from other Islamic society in Australian and the Muslims World organisation, RABITA for the construction of the mosque.

It was a great time as almost their family members came to help to build the mosque. Some of family members were not Muslim as since a few of the third and forth generations married into the wider community. In 1980 the first mosque was declared and approved by the Mackay City Council at 13 December 1999. As that time of construction, council wouldn’t let them build a mosque so the Mackay mosque is only an ordinary house with two minarets up in front the house.

Mackay Muslims and their neighbours.
Since the beginning when Mackay’s first Islamic society was formed in 1977. Men and women gathered and raise fund to build a mosque. Cake stalls are still organised to raise fund to cover the ongoing costs. In 2000, sister Asida Oliver as the one of forth generation of Javanese and Malay Muslim Mackay started a tradition of morning tea fund raising once a year at her home for the Islamic Society. Non-Muslims from wider community enjoy these occasions and everyone enjoys chatting and socialising. She also baked for cake stalls which they run from time to time for fund raising.

Sister Elayne Mariyam Crenan, the youngest of John Contor’s twelve children is known as a friendly and helpful girl. She is always delightful telling stories about her family tree history and how they built the mosque. Sister Asida, Sister Asneah and sister Asiah are good chefs; they spoil everybody with their delicious cake. Their favourite are puff cake, pavlova and rengginang (gluten rice crackers).

Mackay muslims always invite the neighbours close by mosque to enjoy Eid-ul-Fitr and Eid-Adha celebrations. They have a good companionship with the neighbours.
There were many ethnics, nationals and culture backgrounds in Mackay muslims community at this moment, there are from Indonesia, Pakistan, India, Fiji, Bosnia, Bangladesh, Palestine, Malaysia, South Africa, Sudan, England, Australia and Egypt. In the past few years when the terrorism issues rose up, we invited Mackay locals to learn about our religion. It is important to our Islamic Society to be part of cultural diverse communities and work with Government and non Government organization to promote community harmony. It will also build an understanding which leads to harmony and better pluralistic society in Australia.

My testimonial:
Well. I migrated to Australia at 2005. At that moment; the Australia muslims were in the hot water from misleading information and news about jihad. Media opinion about Bali bombing by muslim terrorist in the newspapers have stirred the public opinion worsen. Well, some of angry people wrote their opinion and comment harshly in newspapers and websites. It was become a critical situation after the controversial comment of Sheikh Taj Din Al Hilali about hijab insulted non muslim and muslim in Australia. From what happened as result media’s misleading, have initiated me to write my opinion about how beautiful Australia. Please have a look at my blog. http://leylaainitadewi.blogspot.com/2007/05/beautiful-australia.html and
http://leylaainitadewi.blogspot.com/2006/11/shut-up.html

Mackay muslim Open Day on Sunday 6 November 2006 has invited Mackay locals to learn about Islam and discussed the explanation hot issue about jihad and hijab. The speaker was DR Muhammad Abdalla from Griffith University of Brisbane. http://www.griffith.edu.au/er/gazette/climate-change/articles/griffith-gains-islamic-studies-centre.html. I knew secular society in Australia does not really have a great interest in religions at all but many locals non Muslim came to the park and listened to DR Muhammad Abdalla lecture. To be honest I agreed with his concept about Islam and Australia Muslims. From there I then started supporting the Multicultural initiated by Australia Government.

sources:

Muslims in Australia; immigration, race relations and cultural history by Nahid Kabir. Published by KEGAN PAUL; ISBN 0-7103-1108-7

In my opinion, this book is noteworthy if you wanted to know the history and learning more about Muslims migrant in Australia but I was a little disappointed by the cover as was not illustrating the Australia Muslims but an Indonesian Muslim Bin Laden’s supporter on a street protest in Surabaya, Indonesia.

http://www.mackayhistory.org/research/cemeteries/peri_cemetery.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macassan_contact_with_Australia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prehistory_of_Australia
http://www.creativespirits.info/aboriginalculture/history/aboriginal-history-timeline-pre-cook.html
http://aboriginalrights.suite101.com/article.cfm/macassancrew
http://books.google.com.au/books?id=f8SHgsVNoEwC&pg=PA297&lpg=PA297&dq=macassan+people+in+australia&source=bl&ots=XDGPDLRt96&sig=nCz51MMhAr0i8fhhVwmEkVcTje8&hl=en&ei=_5rHSaT1C4H0sAP9x9zYBg&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=6&ct=result

The newspaper clippings belong to Sister Maryam Elaine Crenan.
Photo (V.D.C 15th BATT.”A”COY. No.3 PLTN) belongs to Sister Maryam Elaine Crenan
private foto documentation.

Butterflies in Fresh Fields, stories of Muslim Women in Queensland; compiled by Emad Soliman.

Why She Won't Wear Hijab!

2009-08-28T15:35:00.007+10:00

A Discussion by A.Q. Alidost

The girl: "I'm so tired."

Q: "Tired of what?"
The girl: "Of all these people judging me."
Q: "Who judged you?"
The girl: "Like that woman, every time I sit with her, she tells me to wear hijab."
Q: "Oh, hijab and music! The mother of all topics!"
The girl: "Yeah! I listen to music without hijab…haha!"
Q: "Maybe she was just giving you advice."

The girl: "I don't need her advice. I know my religion. Can`t she mind her own business?"
Q: "Maybe you misunderstood. She was just being nice."
The girl: "Keeping out of my business, that would be nice..."
Q: "But it's her duty to encourage you do to good."
The girl: "Trust me. That was no encouragement. And what do you mean `good` ?"
Q: "Well, wearing hijab, that would be a good thing to do."

The girl: "Says who?"
Q: "It's in the Qur'an, isn't it?"
The girl: "Yes. She did quote me something."
Q: "She said Surah Nur, and other places of the Qur'an."
The girl: "Yes, but it's not a big sin anyway. Helping people and praying is more important."

Q: "True. But big things start with small things."

The girl: "That's a good point, but what you wear is not important. What's important is to have a good healthy heart."
Q: "What you wear is not important?"
The girl: "That's what I said."
Q: "Then why do you spend an hour every morning fixing up?"
The girl: "What do you mean?"
Q: "You spend money on cosmetics, not to mention all the time you spend on fixing your hair and low-carb dieting."
The girl: "So?"
Q: "So, your appearance IS important."

The girl: "No. I said wearing hijab is not an important thing in religion."
Q: "If it's not an important thing in religion, why is it mentioned in the Holy Qur'an?"
The girl: "You know I can't follow all that's in Qur'an."
Q: "You mean God tells you something to do, you disobey and then it's OK?"

The girl: "Yes. God is forgiving."
Q: "God is forgiving to those who repent and do not repeat their mistakes."
The girl: "Says who?"
Q: "Says the same book that tells you to cover."
The girl: "But I don't like hijab, it limits my freedom."
Q: "But the lotions, lipsticks, mascara and other cosmetics set you free?! What`s your definition of freedom anyway?"
The girl: "Freedom is in doing whatever you like to do."
Q: "No. Freedom is in doing the right thing, not in doing whatever we wish to do."

The girl: "Look! I've seen so many people who don't wear hijab and are nice people, and so many who wear hijab and are bad people."
Q: "So what? There are people who are nice to you but are alcoholic. Should we all be alcoholics? You made a stupid point."
The girl: "I don't want to be an extremist or a fanatic. I'm OK the way I am without hijab."
Q: "Then you are a secular fanatic. An extremist in disobeying God."
The girl: "You don't get it, if I wear hijab, who would marry me?!"
Q: "So all these people with hijab never get married?!"

The girl: "Okay! What if I get married and my husband doesn't like it? And wants me to remove it?"
Q: "What if your husband wants you to go out with him on a bank robbery?!"
The girl: "That's irrelevant, bank robbery is a crime."
Q: "Disobeying your Creator is not a crime?"
The girl: "But then who would hire me?"
Q: "A company that respects people for who they are."
The girl: "Not after 9-11"
Q: "Yes. After 9-11. Don't you know about Hanan who just got into med school? And the other one, what was her name, the girl who always wore a white hijab…ummm…"
The girl: "Yasmeen?"
Q: "Yes. Yasmeen. She just finished her MBA and is now interning for GE."
The girl: "Why do you reduce religion to a piece of cloth anyway?"
Q: "Why do you reduce womanhood to high heals and lipstick colors?"
The girl: "You didn't answer my question."

Q: "In fact, I did. Hijab is not just a piece of cloth. It is obeying God in a difficult environment. It is courage, faith in action, and true womanhood. But your short sleeves, tight pants…"
" The girl: That's called `fashion`, you live in a cave orsomething? First of all, hijab was founded by men who wanted to control women."
Q: "Really? I did not know men could control women by hijab."
The girl: "Yes. That's what it is."
Q: "What about the women who fight their husbands to wear hijab? And women in France who are forced to remove their hijab by men? What do you say about that?"
The girl: "Well, that's different."
Q: "What difference? The woman who asked you to wear hijab…she was a woman, right?"
The girl: "Right, but…"
Q: "But fashions that are designed and promoted by male-dominated corporations, set you free? Men have no control on exposing women and using them as a commodity?! Give me a break!"

The girl: "Wait, let me finish, I was saying…"
Q: "Saying what? You think that men control women by hijab?"
The girl: "Yes."
Q: "Specifically how?"
The girl: "By telling women how and what to wear, dummy!"
Q: "Doesn't TV, magazines and movies tell you what to wear, and how to be `attractive' ?"
The girl: "Of course, it's fashion."
Q: "Isn't that control? Pressuring you to wear what they want you to wear?"
[Silence]
Q: "Not just controlling you, but also controlling the market."
The girl: "What do you mean?"
Q: "I mean, you are told to look skinny and anorexic like that woman on the cover of the magazine, by men who design those magazines and sell those products."
The girl: "I don't get it. What does hijab have to do with products."
Q: "It has everything to do with that. Don't you see? Hijab is a threat to consumerism, women who spend billions of dollars to look skinny and live by standards of fashion designed by men…and then here is Islam, saying trash all that nonsense and focus on your soul, not on your looks, and do not worry what men think of your looks."
The girl: "Like I don't have to buy hijab? Isn't hijab a product?"
Q: "Yes, it is. It is a product that sets you free from male-dominated consumerism. "
The girl: "Stop lecturing me! I WILL NOT WEAR HIJAB! It is awkward, outdated, and totally not suitable for this society ... Moreover, I am only 20 and too young to wear hijab!"
Q: "Fine. Say that to your Lord, when you face Him on Judgment Day."
The girl: "Fine."
Q: "Fine."
[Silence]
The girl: "Shut up and I don't want to hear more about hijab niqab schmijab Punjab!"
[Silence]
She stared at the mirror, tired of arguing with herself all this time.
Successful enough, she managed to shut the voices in her head, with her own opinions triumphant in victory on the matter, and a final modern decision accepted by the society - but rejected by the Faith:
"Yes!" - to curls on the hair - "No!" - to hijab!

"And he (/she) is indeed a failure who corrupts it [the soul]!"[Holy Quran 91:10]
Subhana'Allah! !!
"Nay! You prefer the life of this world; While the hereafter is better and more lasting."[Holy Quran: 87:16-17]

"You are the best community (Ummah) raised up for (the benefit of) humanity; enjoining what is right and forbidding what is wrong and believing in Allah."[Holy Quran: 3:110]

A note from me:

The caricature belongs to The Australia newspaper; release on 2nd September 2006. Bill Leak is awesome. His caricature is insulting also complimentary. I didn’t want to hurt anybody with it but I loved this picture and I kept it in here with this article.

When hardships fall, what level do you fall in?

2009-08-25T13:46:00.006+10:00

By Shahid Khan

We all pass through difficult stages. Hardships are part and parcel of life. But the way we react to them makes us different as people. As a scholar of the past said people look the same during ease, but are different when hardships strike. Sheikh Bin Uthaymeen explained the different levels of people in a beautiful manner.
People, during afflictions and difficulties, are at four levels:

1. Becoming angry
People get angry in their heart as if they are angry with their Lord. So, they become angry with what Allah decreed for them, and this is not permissible. It's possible that it could even lead to disbelief. Allah says:
"And among mankind is he who worships Allah as it were, upon the very edge (i.e. in doubt); if good befalls him, he's content therewith, but if a trial befalls him, he turns back on his face (i.e. reverts back to disbelief after embracing Islam). He loses both this world and the Hereafter." (Qur'an, 22:11)Others express their anger by their tongue, calling and supplicating for destruction or ruin. This is also impermissible. Some others slap cheeks, rip their clothes, and pull out their hair. None of this is allowed. It's in contradiction to having the required patience.

2. Remaining patient
A poet once said, "Patience, like its name, is bitter in taste, yet its outcomes are sweeter than honey."The patient ones bear (the affliction) although they dislike it. Their faith prevents them from becoming angry. So, the period of affliction and period without hardship are not the same to him. This (level) is obligatory because Allah commanded the people to be patient, saying: "And be patient. Certainly, Allah is with the patient ones." (Qur'an, 8:46)

3. Being pleased
Some are pleased with the affliction. Things are pretty much the same for them. There is no difficulty facing them and they don't bear it as something heavy.
This (level) is preferred but not an obligation according to the most correct of opinions.

4. Being thankfulBeing grateful is the highest level. This is the state when a person thanks Allah for the affliction that has befallen him. He knows that such a difficulty is a means of expiation for his sins and perhaps a cause for an increase in his good deeds. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
"There's no affliction that strikes a Muslim except that Allah expiates with it (his sins), even with a thorn that may prick him." (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
– Fatawa Arkaan Al-Islam. Translated by Abu Az-Zubayr Harrison

Permission is granted to circulate among private individuals and groups, to post on Internet sites and to publish in full text and subject title in not-for-profit publications.

Apache Blessing

2009-08-24T12:46:00.004+10:00

APACHE BLESSING

Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be the shelter for each other.

Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be the warmth for the other.

Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before.

Go now to your dwelling place to enter into the days of your life together.

And may your days be good and long upon the earth.

Apache Blessing (Author Unknown)

Macavity: The Mystery Cat

2009-08-23T13:14:00.011+10:00

Macavity: The Mystery Cat
By T S Elliot
1888-1965, b USA

Macavity's a Mystery Cat: he's called the Hidden Paw -

For he's the master criminal who can defy the Law.

He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair:

For when they reach the scene of crime - Macavity's not there!

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,

He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity.

His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare,

And when you reach the scene of crime - Macavity's not there!

You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air -

But I tell you once and once again, Macavity's not there!

Mcavity's a ginger cat, he's very tall and thin;

You would know him if you saw him, for his eyes are sunken in.

His brow is deeply lined with thought, his head is highly domed;

His coat is dusty from neglect, his whiskers are uncombed.

He sways his head from side to side, with movements like a snake;

And when you think he's half asleep, he's always wide awake.

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,

For he's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity.

You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square -

But when a crime's discovered, then Macavity's not there!

As the cat

As the cat
climbed over

the top of

the jam closet

first the right

forefoot

carefully

then the hind

stepped down

into the pit of

the empty

flowerpot

By William Carlos Williams
1883-1963, b USAWillian Carlos Willams was a New Jersey pediatric whose patients were often from the poorest and lowliest walks of life. He is a`master of showing ordinary things in a fresh way often with tenderness and compassion

This poem comes from Eliot’s book of verse for children, Old Possum Book of Practical Cats (1939). The imaginative adaptation of Old Possum’s Book Practical Cats into a musical “Cat “ in 1981http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-L6rEm0rnY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LI1DMZ6J_RM

MENGUTUK - CURSE

2009-07-13T19:24:00.009+10:00

All praise is due to Allah. We praise Him, and we seek His aid, we ask for His forgiveness and we repent to Him. We seek Allah's refuge from the evils of ourselves and the evil consequences of our actions.Whomsoever Allah guides, then none can misguide him and whomsoever Allah misguides then none can guide him. I testify that none has the right to be worshipped except Allah Alone, having no partner, and I testify that Muhammad is His slave and His Messenger. May Allah extol and send blessing of peace upon him, upon his true followers and upon all of his Companions.

Baru-baru ini saya terlibat dalam debat yang hebat sampai-sampai lawan bicara saya mengutuk saya karena merasa terzolimi. Permintaan maaf saya diabaikan karena dia tersingung habis-habisan sebaliknya malahan dia berbalik mengutuk yang diucapkan dengan sangat lembut.

Following is the curse which put upon me from a person who has very good manner and language;
“Allah tahu apa yang sebenarnya terjadi dan Allah tahu seberapa besar kecintaanku pada Nya, jadi jika Allah ikut merasakan apa yang aku rasakan, semoga berkah orang yang terdzolimi akan diterima oleh umatNya yang berhak.”
Well, It just happened, BURSTING over the unacceptable kind of wisdom words which not suitable with us sometimes can burn Extreme fury and anger from us. We were in the heat of argue then we lose our temper, it was hard to avoid hurting someone's feeling. I regret for loosing my temper, I knew that Positive and encouraging statements are more helpful in correcting people than hurting their feelings. But it was very hard to do when you argued very hard with someone. It just happened that someone put curse upon me. Astaqfirullahalaziim.

Oh, I seek Allah’s refugee from my consequences of my action. Ya apa boleh buat saya tidak mempunyai kesaktian apa-apa untuk menghadapi kutukan tersebut jadilah saya sepenuhnya bersandar kepada Allah SWT yang menjadi saksi dan hakim peristiwa ini karena Dia yang Maha Mengetahui lagi Maha bijaksana.

Sebenarnya menyedihkan dikutuk sedemikian rupa oleh saudara muslim yang saya kagumi keimanan islamnya. Perbedaan sudut pandang yang sangat tajam soal pengertian ajaran agama yang merujuk kepada masalah yang terjadi memanglah senjata yang mematikan silaturahmi bahkan persaudaraan jika tidak ditemukan kompromi. Bagi yang tidak memahami agama secara mendalam tentu dengan singkat menyimpulkan bahwa agama adalah salah satu sumber kerusuhan dan perpecahan di muka bumi ini.

Kejadian ini mengingatkan kembali peristiwa lama ketika masa anak-anak sampai dewasa di tanah air Indonesia yaitu ketika tetangga meneriaki gangguan anak-anak nakal atau dijalanan ketika orang berselisih paham, teman saya marah kepada teman yang lain, di serobot jatahnya, ditolak cinta dan sebagainya alasan yang menjengkelkan.
“Gue sumpahin loe disamber petir.” ,
“Gue sumpahin loe masuk neraka”,
“Hoai sialan, mampus loe.”
“Gua sumpahin loe sial tujuh turunan”
dan sebagainya sumpah serapah yang disemburkan dengan penuh kemarahan. Tetapi tidak jarang ketika kemarahannya reda mereka akrab kembali seperti layaknya tidak ada kejadian kebencian yang menyulut semburan sumpah serapah dari mulutnya.

Di media elektronik dan cetak sering kali memuat berita seseorang terkemuka mengutuk kebijakan orang lain atau negara lain yang berseberangan politik dengannya. Tidak jarang para artis yang merasa dirinya di zolimi membayar pengacara untuk mengeksekusi orang yang menzoliminya karena dirasakan kekuatan tangan manusia lebih akurat dan cepat menyelesaikan masalah batin yang tersakiti. Mungkin juga dia juga sudah mengutuk pelaku dengan memohon pertolongan kepada Tuhan yang dia percayai jadi dianggap double-lah hukuman yang diterima sang pelaku. Para aktifis suatu organisasi melakukan demonstrasi mengutuk dan mengajak orang lain ikut serta untuk mengutuk tindakan-tindakan anarkis yang menzolimi kelompok masyarakat tertentu. Luar biasa jika agama dipakai sebagai alat balas dendam benar-benar besar gaungnya.

Cerita mengenai kutukan yang sangat terkenal adalah kisah rakyat dari Sumatera Barat yaitu Malin Kundang si anak durhaka. Saking terkenalnya sampai-sampai menjadi legenda. Cerita ini adalah kisah seorang anak yang durhaka kepada ibu kandungnya sehingga sang ibu memohon kepada Tuhan agar si anak dirubah menjadi batu. Ajaran yang bisa diambil dari kisah ini adalah betapa bahayanya jika kita menelantarkan dan melawan orangtua kita. Disisi lain ditunjukkan betapa berbahayanya sekaligus menyedihkan mengutuk seseorang sebab walaupun permintaannya dikabulkan oleh Tuhan, sang ibu tetap berada dalam kesedihan dan tidak bahagia melihat anaknya berubah menjadi batu.

Masyaallah, kalau dipikir-pikir perbuatan mengutuk sebenarnya perbuatan yang kejam dan mengerikan menurut pendapat saya. sebab akankah pelaku yang memberikan kutukan itu merasa puas dan bahagia jika melihat kemalangan yang menimpa orang yang dikutuknya dan merasa dirinya disayang oleh Sang Pencipta yang Kuasa bahwa keinginannya telah dikabulkan-Nya?
Biasa kita dengar;
“Rasain loe kualat sih sama gue!”
“Sukurin, itulah bayaran dosa-dosa dia selama ini!”
Jika kutukannya tidak dikabulkan bisa ada beberapa kemungkinan yaitu tidak perduli, bertanya-tanya mengapa Tuhan tidak mengabulkannya dan ada pula yang marah dan dendam lalu kecewa kepada Tuhan yang dirasanya tidak adil.

Pertanyaan yang mengganggu saya adalah bagaimana jika seorang muslim mengutuk seseorang lalu ternyata Allah SWT mengabulkannya? Haruskah dia bersyukur atau bertaubat karena telah memberikan bencana kepada hamba Allah yang lain?

Kejadian ini saya sampaikan melalui email kepada salah satu sahabat. Pencerahan beliau mengenai kutukan ini sungguh memesona sebab ini pertama kalinya memahaminya dengan sangat jelas. Ya, dahulu saya tidak perduli ketika mendengar maupun melihat kelakuan orang melakukan sumpah serapah.

Ooh, sungguh cara Allah SWT mengajari saya untuk mengerti dan memahaminya sangat diluar dugaan lantaran yang mengutuk saya adalah sosok muslim yang justru saya cintai dan kagumi keimanan islamnya, Masyaallah alangkah berat konsekwensinya mengutuk seseorang karena tidak hanya tali silaturahmi yang dipertaruhkan tetapi juga patah hati dan kepercayaan kepada seseorang.

Q : Assalamualaykum Sister when someone (muslim) cursed me what should I do?A: Astaqfirullahalaziim Why do people curse others where as they can still pray for their Hadayat? You just pray and forgiveness because Allah SWT is definitely the One and Only who can cure us. My dear sister, you have to understand that:

1. A Muslim Cursing Another Muslim

Muslims should neither curse nor imprecate each other with words such as, ‘May the Curse of Allah be upon you,’ or ‘I wish you to burn in Hell-fire,’ etc.Narrated Samurah Ibn Jundub (radhi allahu anhu), ‘Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, ‘Do not curse one another, invoking curse of Allah or Wrath of Allah or the fire of Hell.’ [Abu Dawood, at-Tirmidhee]
To curse a Muslim is akin/alike to killing him. Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, ‘Cursing a believer is like murdering him.’ [Agreed upon]. The act of cursing is such that one who does it can himself become a recipient of it.

Narrated Abu Darda (radhi allahu anhu), ‘Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, ‘When a person curses (La’nah; to ask that something be deprived of Allah’s Mercy) somebody or something, the curse goes up to the heaven and the gates of the heaven are closed. Then it comes down to the earth and its gates are closed. Then it turns right and left, and if it does not find an entrance to go anywhere, it returns to the person or thing that was cursed, if he or it deserves to be cursed; otherwise, it returns to the person, who uttered it.’ [Abu Dawood] Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) also warned, ‘Those who frequently resort to cursing would neither be accepted as witnesses nor as intercessors on the Day of Resurrection.’ [Saheeh Muslim]

It is not allowed to curse, disgrace or humiliate even a sinner because in doing so, one helps the Shaytan, who is avowed to disgrace and humiliate Muslims before Allah. Narrated Abu Hurayrah (radhi allahu anhu), ‘A drunkard was brought to the Prophet (Sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam). He (Rasulullah sallahu alaihi wassalam) said, ‘Give him a beating.’ Then some beat him with their hands, some with their shoes, and some with (a folded) piece of cloth. When he left, someone said to him, ‘May Allah disgrace you!‘ The Prophet (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, ‘Do not help Shaytan overcome him by uttering such words.’ [Saheeh al-Bukharee]

Moreover, it is incorrect to curse a sinner because perhaps, the person may have sought Istagfar (seek forgiveness for one’s sins) and Allah, the All-Forgiving, may have forgiven the person for his transgression. It is related in Saheeh Muslim that during the time of Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam), when a woman was being punished for the sin of adultery, her blood spurted upon Khalid Ibn Waleed (radhi allahu anhu), who swore at her. Thereupon, the Prophet (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, ‘Khalid, be gentle. By Him, in Whose Hand is my life, she has made such a repentance that even if a wrongful tax collector were to repent, he would have been forgiven.’ He (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) then prayed over her and she was buried. Therefore, the right conduct would be to pray for his or her guidance and refrain from any critique, cursing or humiliation.

Even the deceased Muslims should not be censured or condemned for their wrongdoings, for, they have reached their end and they are receiving the return of their deeds in the Hereafter. Aa’isha (radhi allahu anha) narrated, ‘The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, ‘Do not abuse the dead, because they have attained that which they had forwarded (i.e., their deeds, good or bad).’ [Saheeh al-Bukharee]

Quoted from : http://learndeen.wordpress.com/2007/07/23/cursing-is-prohibited/

(which was taken from As-Sunnah Newsletter)

2. Parents Cursing Their Child/ChildrenWhen a person (we are talking about Muslims here) making a dua (supplication) to Allah, that supplication may be answered by Allah immediately or it may not.
Allah will answer the supplication of parents, as stated by Abu Hurayrah (radiallahuanhu), that the Prophet (Sallahualaihi wassalam) said "Three supplications are sure to be answered: that of the oppressed, that of the traveller, and that of the parents who curse their children {for their negligence}". -Bukhari-.

The word "for their negligence" here means that the parents were suffered because of their child/children. They did zhalim to their parents, neglecting them, not fulfilling their duties towards their parents. Allah answer the dua of good parents, who did their best in fulfilling their parental obligations according to Islam, yet their children return their love and kindness with defiance, making them suffered, and so on. When a person made his/her parents angry, he/she also had made Allah angry.
So children should always obey their parents (as long as the parents are not telling them to do what Allah prohibits, e.g disobeying Allah). In Islam, each parents and children has their obligations towards one another and they must fulfill them. For further explanation regarding duties and abligations of parents and child,

I recommend you..Insha Allah. you should go read books on this topic e.g. you can go to this link:
http://books.google.com.au/books?id=Q9E4egv4lKEC&pg=PA16&lpg=PA16&dq=the+curse+of+parents+upon+their+children+in+islam&source=bl&ots=xxJptygBuK&sig=GX3S6vwKJJvvChha11gmh9DDnSU&hl=en&ei=12m5SYKhKoSq6gOP6oHnBA&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=2&ct=result#PPA18,M1. It is an e-book called "Moral Teachings of Islam" by Imam al-Bukhari.

It's a very good book to read.

Abu Bakrah related the following:
The Messenger of Allah (sallahualaihi wassalam) said three times: "Shall I tell you which are the gravest sins?". The Companions said: " Yes, O Messenger of Allah". He (sallahualaihi wassalam) then said: "Setting anyone up as the equal of Allah, and disobedience towards parents". He (sallahualaihi wassalam) was standing (as he said this), then he sat down and said: "And telling lies". He repeated over and over until I said to myself I wish he would stop. -Bukhari-.

3. Forgiving Others for Their MistakesJust as it is important to believe in the mercy and forgiveness of Allah, it is also necessary to base human relations on forgiveness. We cannot expect Allah’s forgiveness unless we also forgive those who do wrong to us. Forgiving each other, even forgiving one’s enemies is one of the most important Islamic teachings. In the Qur’an Allah has described the Believers as “those who avoid major sins and acts of indecencies and when they are angry they forgive.” (ash-Shura 42: 37).

Later in the same Surah Allah says, “The reward of the evil is the evil thereof, but whosoever forgives and makes amends, his reward is upon Allah.” (al-Shura 42: 40). In another place the Qur’an says, “If you punish, then punish with the like of that wherewith you were afflicted. But if you endure patiently, indeed it is better for the patient. Endure you patiently. Your patience is not except through the help of Allah.” (an-Nahl:126-127) In one Hadith, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said that Allah has commanded him about nine things; one of them he mentioned was “that I forgive those who do wrong to me.”

Allah's ForgivenessAllah Almighty is the Oft-Forgiving. There are many Names of Allah given in the Qur’an. Some of these Names are related to His mercy and forgiveness. Let me mention some of these names: 1-Al-Ghafoor (The Oft-Forgiving): This name occurs in the Qur’an more than seventy times. There are other names from the same root, such as Ghafir and Ghaffar. The meaning of the Arabic word “ghafara” is to cover, to hide and from it comes the meaning “to excuse”, “to pardon”, “to remit” and “to forgive”. Allah Almighty does all these things.

In the Qur’an, it is mentioned that Allah does not forgive the Shirk (without repentance) but He may forgive every other sin for whomsoever He wills. (al-Nisa’ 4:116) We must turn to Allah to seek His forgiveness. 2-Al-`Afuw (The Pardoning): This has another aspect of forgiveness. This Name occurs in the Qur’an five times. Literally the Arabic word `Afw means “to release”, “to heal”, “to restore”, “to remit”. Thus in relation to Allah it means “to release us from the burden of punishment due to our sins and mistakes”, “to restore our honor after we have dishonored ourselves by committing sins and making mistakes.” Sometimes in the Qur’an both names: `Afuw and Ghafoor come together. 3-Al-Tawwab (The Acceptor of repentance): This Name of Allah is mentioned in the Qur’an about 11 times. Allah accepts the repentance of those who sincerely repent and turn to him. The Arabic word “tawwab” gives the sense of “oft-returning” which means that Allah again and again accepts the repentance.

We make sins and mistakes then we repent, He accepts our repentance. Then again we commit sins and make mistakes and when we repent, He again very kindly accepts us and gives us another chance. 4-Al-Haleem (The Clement): This Name is mentioned fifteen times in the Qur’an, and it means that Allah Almighty is not quick to judgment. He gives time.

He forebears and is patient to see His servant returning to Him. 5-Ar-Rahman and ar-Raheem (Most Gracious and Most Merciful). These Names are the most frequent in the Qur’an. Ar-Rahman is mentioned 57 times and ar-Raheem is mentioned 115 times. Ar-Rahman indicates that Allah’s grace is abundant and plenty and al-Raheem indicates that this is always the case with Allah. He is full of love and mercy and He is ever Merciful.

The Qur’an teaches that Allah is a Judge and He also punishes, but Allah is not bound to punish. The justice of Allah, according to Qur’an is that Allah does not and will not inflict undue punishment on any person. He will not ignore the good of any person. But if He wishes to forgive any sinner, He has full freedom to do that. His mercy is unlimited and His love is infinite. There are many verses in the Qur’an and Hadiths of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, on the love, mercy and forgiveness of Allah.
In one of the prayers that the Prophet taught, he said, “O Allah, You are Most Forgiving One, You love to forgive, so forgive me.” (reported by at-Trimidhi and Ibn Majah). We need Allah’s mercy and forgiveness all the time. It is wrong to assume at any time that one will find eternal salvation without the forgiveness of Allah.

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503544718

Prophet's sayings - on Mercy
ALLAH’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said:
“He who is not merciful to others, will not be treated mercifully."
Source: Al-Bukhari (8/73, no. 42)

ALLAH’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said:
“Allah will not be merciful to those who are not merciful to mankind."

Calvin and Hobbes

2009-06-30T08:51:00.012+10:00

Ini adalah komik strip yang unik sekali, Percaya atau tidak, humor yang disampaikan dalam komik strip ini membuat kita menyadari bahwa setiap hari adalah istimewa. Bagi saya ketika memahami imajinasi Calvin sebagai anak kecil seperti kalau menonton film kartun Spongebob squarepant. Yaitu “Using your imagination.” tetapi memahami celetukan dia yang berhubungan dengan issue tertentu sesungguhnya itulah yang kekuatan komik strip ini. Kemampuan sang pengarang mengungkapkan pendapat yang kebanyakan mengendap didalam hati saja menjadi suatu objek renungan sungguh-sungguh patut diacungi jempol, selera humor dalam penyampaiannya membuat kita tertawa, entah menertawakan diri sendiri atau kondisi yang terjadi.

Tokoh dalam komik srip ini adalah Calvin seorang anak laki-laki berusia 6 tahun dengan tingkahlakunya yang tidak lazim lantaran dunia khayalan dia sangat mendominasi dirinya sehingga Susie anak tetangga sekaligus teman sekolah dan satu-satunya anak sebaya di lingkungan tempat tinggalnya selalu menyebutnya “Weirdo”. Bu guru sekaligus wali-kelasnya Ms. Wormwood sering dibuat kuwalahan lantaran Calvin sering melantur tenggelam di dalam khayalannya ketika pelajaran berlangsung. Bahasa yang digunakan Calvinpun sangatlah cerdas dan dia mengikuti issue yang diserapnya melalui televisi, radio surat kabar maupun percakapan orang dewasa.

Teman imajinasi Calvin adalah Hobbes. Hobbes adalah boneka macan yang selalu dibawa kemana saja dia pergi. Calvin tidak punya teman bermain dirumah, hanya sesekali saja ia berinteraksi dengan anak tetangga yaitu Susie kadang-kadang dengan Rosalyn, seorang remaja yang menjadi baby sitter Calvin ketika orangtuanya ada acara keluar rumah. Jadi bisa dikatakan dia lebih sering bermain sendirian dengan imajinasinya dimana hobbes menjadi seekor macan sungguhan yang bisa diajak diskusi dan bermain. Percakapan cerdas antara Calvin dengan Hobbes inilah yang menjadi kekuatan komik ini.

Kalau dipikir-pikir Calvin ini kesepian walaupun ada Moe, Susie, Rosalyn dan bu guru Miss Wormwood nampaknya ia lebih sering tenggelam dalam khayalannya. Orangtua, guru, pengasuh dan teman-teman Calvin sering kuwalahan atas imajinasinya yang keterlaluan sehingga mempengaruhi kehidupan nyata. Tetapi seperti yang saya sampaikan sebelumnya bahwa imajinasi Calvin adalah imajinasi semua orang yang dituangkan oleh Bill kedalam komik strip. Tidak heran kisah Calvin and Hobbes ini bisa di nikmati oleh semua usia.

Sayangnya Sang pengarang “Bill Watterson” adalah seorang seniman yang menurut saya konservatif, beliau tidak mau tokoh Calvin and Hobbes dibuat dalam bentuk merchandiser dan film seperti halnya Garfield. Maka sebagai penggemar, koleksinya hanya terbatas mengumpulkan buku kumpulan komik stripnya saja alias terpaksa harus cukup puas membaca ulang komiknya saja, tidak seperti halnya penggemar Snoopy, Garfield yang imagenya bisa ditemui di dalam bentuk barang apa saja. Calvin and Hobbes mulai di publikasikan November 18, 1985. strip terakhir di publikasikan December 31, 1995 . Saya adalah salah satu penggemar komik strip ini. Jadi file tentang Bill Watterson dengan komik Calvin and hobbes merupakan salah satu simpanan berharga yang sewaktu-waktu bisa saya buka dimana saja dan kapan saja. Sedangkan komik stripnya langganan ke www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/ yang tiap hari dikirim ke email.

Ketika beliau memutuskan untuk menghentikan karyanya, beliau menulis surat untuk para penggemarnya http://www.geocities.com/EnchantedForest/Glade/3868/creator.html
photo Bill Watterson

Dear Reader:I will be stopping Calvin and Hobbes at the end of the year. This was not a recent or an easy decision, and I leave with some sadness. My interests have shifted however, and I believe I've done what I can do within the constraints of daily deadlines and small panels. I am eager to work at a more thoughtful pace, with fewer artistic compromises. I have not yet decided on future projects, but my relationship with Universal Press Syndicate will continue.That so many newspapers would carry Calvin and Hobbes is an honor I'll long be proud of, and I've greatly appreciated your support and indulgence over the last decade. Drawing this comic strip has been a privilege and a pleasure, and I thank you for giving me the opportunity.

Sincerely,

Bill Watterson
– Watterson's letter to newspaper editors announcing his retirement, November 9, 1995

Buku komik kumpulan strip Calvin and hobbes ini benar-benar layak di koleksi sebab issue yang diusungnya bisa diterima sepanjang masa.
http://ignatz.brinkster.net/cbillart.html

Calvin: "I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know". The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes, p235-2The Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book, p102-2
www.calvin-and-hobbes.org/

Sungguh salah satu celetukan Calvin ini pernah ada di pikiran ketika saya merenungi pekerjaan kantoran yang saya tekuni ternyata sangat berbeda dengan disiplin ilmu yang saya raih dan mungkin juga kata-kata ini pernah ada di pikiran banyak orang.

Awards
1986: Reuben Award, Cartoonist of the Year [14]
1988: Reuben Award, Cartoonist of the Year
1988: National Cartoonists Society, Newspaper Comic Strips Humor Award
1988: Sproing Award, for Tommy og Tigern (Calvin and Hobbes)
1989: Harvey Award, Special Award for Humor, for Calvin and Hobbes
1990: Harvey Award, Best Syndicated Comic Strip, for Calvin and Hobbes
1990: Max & Moritz Prize, Best Comic Strip, for Calvin and Hobbes
1991: Harvey Award, Best Syndicated Comic Strip, for Calvin and Hobbes
1991: Adamson Award, for Kalle och Hobbe (Calvin and Hobbes)
1992: Harvey Award, Best Syndicated Comic Strip, for Calvin and Hobbes
1992: Eisner Award, Best Comic Strip Collection, for The Revenge of the Baby-Sat
1992: Angoulême International Comics Festival, Prize for Best Comic Book, for En avant tête de thon!
1992: Eisner Award, Best Comic Strip Collection, for Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons
1993: Harvey Award, Best Syndicated Comic Strip, for Calvin and Hobbes
1994: Harvey Award, Best Syndicated Comic Strip, for Calvin and Hobbes
1995: Harvey Award, Best Syndicated Comic Strip, for Calvin and Hobbes
1996: Harvey Award, Best Syndicated Comic Strip, for Calvin and Hobbes

LINKS
Bill Watterson biography on Lambiek Comiclopedia
Rare Bill Watterson Art at Calvin and Hobbes: Magic On Paper
"After an Early Bedtime, Calvin and Hobbes Are Up and Running in a New Collection" - Washington Post book review including broad look at Watterson's career
Some Thoughts On The Real World By One Who Glimpsed It And Fled: Bill Watterson Commencement Speech at Kenyon College
Interview with Bill Watterson's mother (interview begins around 7:10)
Comprehensive article on Watterson's career and reclusiveness from Cleveland Scene
Fans From Around the World Interview Bill Watterson
Calvin and Hobbes website
Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Watterson"
Categories: 1958 births American cartoonists Calvin and Hobbes Harvey Award winners Kenyon College alumni Living people Reuben Award winners People from Ohio Comic strip cartoonists
http://www.calvin-and-hobbes.org/
http://mysite.verizon.net/vzesvylf/bill.html
http://cabcalvinandhobbes.tripod.com/
http://ignatz.brinkster.net/cbillart.html
http://meiyilu.vox.com/library/post/calvin-hobbes---more-than-just-a-comic-strip.html
http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2007/10/wall_street_journal_somehow_fi.html

Daftar kumpulan komiknya :

Calvin and Hobbes
by Bill Watterson - Humor - 1987 - 128 pages
The first collection of the increasingly popular comic strip that features a rambunctious 6-year-old boy and his stuffed tiger who comes charmingly to life.
Snippet view - About this book - Add to my library - More editions

Calvin and Hobbes, Sunday Pages 1985-1995
by Bill Watterson
"This catalogue accompanies the exhibition Calvin and Hobbies: Sunday pages1985-1995 at The Ohio State University Cartoon Research Library from September...
No preview available - About this book - Add to my library - More editions

Calvin & Hobbes Sunday Pages 1985-1995
by Bill Watterson - Comics & Graphic Novels - 2001 - 96 pages
Compiles a selection of Sunday cartoons selected and commented upon by theauthor.
No preview available - About this book - Add to my library - More editions

Calvin and Hobbes
by Bill Watterson - Comics & Graphic Novels - 1992 - 128 pages
The second volume in a series of four comic cartoons starring the Calvin and Hobbespair.
No preview available - About this book - Add to my library - More editions

Calvin and Hobbes: 10th Anniversary
by Bill Watterson - Humor - 1995
The creator of "Calvin and Hobbes" discusses the art of cartooning, explainshow he creates his popular comic strip, and presents his favorite moments...
No preview available - About this book - Add to my library - More editions

The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
by Bill Watterson - Humor - 2005 - 1440 pages
This is the treasure that all Calvin and Hobbes fans seek.
No preview available - About this book - Add to my library

Attack Of The Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons
by Bill Watterson - Comics & Graphic Novels - 1992 - 128 pages
With the help of his faithful stuffed tiger companion and his alter-egos--Spaceman Spiff, Stupendous Man, and Tracer Bullet-- Calvin continues to navigate the...
Limited preview - About this book - Add to my library - More editions

Calvin and Hobbes
by Bill Watterson - Comics & Graphic Novels - 1992
The third volume in a series of four comic cartoons starring the Calvin and Hobbespair.
No preview available - About this book - Add to my library

There's Treasure Everywhere
by Bill Watterson - Comics & Graphic Novels - 1996
The popular comic-strip duo roam their many worlds in search of treasure and adventure, approaching warp speed, fighting off killer bicycles, conducting dad...
Limited preview - About this book - Add to my library - More editions

It's a Magical World
by Bill Watterson - Humor - 1996
The final collection of comic strips from the popular syndicated series follows theadventures of Calvin and his stuffed tiger, Hobbes
No preview available - About this book - Add to my library - More editions

omaheleyla

My way

How to love God

If we cannot love the person whom we see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? quote- mother Teresa

Unlawful desires are usually associated with ugliness

10 useless matters

Bagaimanakah ibadah itu?

Iklas dan Redho atas musibah dan tundukkanlah egomu

KISAH SEORANG PENDOA

ANTARA KAU DAN SANG PENCIPTA

DARE TO LET GO “BERANI MELEPASKAN”

Earn with your Hands

50 things to know about marriage

SIAPAKAH PENIPU ALLAH ?

DIMANAKAH ALLAH BERADA?

APAKAH DOSA ITU?

EMOTIONAL CHEATING

Hati-hati Selingkuh Hati

Kebebasan Press/media - Freedom of the press

polygamy

Kau tak pernah sendiri

Masa depan

Sesuatu tentang kebahagiaan

“MOVING - settling down – making friends”

Nasehat perkawinan yang sering terlupakan

GUIDE DOG AND MUSLIM

History of the first Indonesian Muslim in Mackay; Queensland - Australia.

Why She Won't Wear Hijab!

When hardships fall, what level do you fall in?

Apache Blessing

Macavity: The Mystery Cat

MENGUTUK - CURSE

Calvin and Hobbes

If we cannot love the person whom we see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?
quote- mother Teresa